The one thing you need to do right now to stop divorce in its tracks.
You may be feeling more hurt, angry and frustrated than ever before right now, but if you're going to save your marriage, no matter how bad things look and feel, you and your partner have to make a serious mutual commitment to saving your relationship together as a team. You need to make a shared pact to do everything you can to save your marriage by making it your Hurt-Free Zone.
A good marriage and the marriage-saving process that will get you there are like a tango dance pattern with lifts and dips that one partner simply can't do alone. If you're really going to save your marriage, you have to start working on it together. But how do you start? First, you have to suspend any negative assumptions about your partner or about whether or not your marriage can even be saved. At first you may have to act in spite of feeling very hurt, hopeless or angry at times.
If your partner has had an emotional affair (or worse) they will need to commit 100 percent to doing whatever it takes to help you recover emotionally over time. An emotional injury has been inflicted if that's the case. However, you can heal this injury if you work together and fall more deeply in love than ever before in the process. This includes permanently activating your relationship's "Affair Force-Field." It also means that your partner will have to provide you with 100 percent social media and email transparency, giving you unencumbered access to their cell phone, social media accounts and email passwords. In other words, you both get to look at each other's accounts whenever you want. What's your relationship's Affair Force-Field? Never say, do or text anything that you would not say, do or text directly in the presence of your partner. It's that simple.
If there's a real risk of partner violence, a serious problem with addiction or related to mental illness, saving a marriage may require creating a formal safety plan and getting specialized in-person couple's therapy. In such serious cases, this kind of do-it-yourself divorce prevention process is likely not going to be your best option. A surprising number of marriages can still be saved despite these more serious challenges. If these are not among your top relationship challenges then keep reading.
What's the good news? Transforming your near divorce into a very strong marriage becomes increasingly effortless — even automatic (just like new dance steps do) as you do more and more learning and practicing together. Most couples start to report amazing positive results after just a few weeks of real effort. Many say they could never imagine that things could start to improve so fast. The great thing about emotions is that they have an extraordinary ability to heal and a major tendency to become healthy and positive again if you just give them a chance and the right conditions.
So what's next? It's time to move on to step 2 of Your Ultimate Guide To Divorce Prevention; It's time to set up and start living in your deeply healing "Hurt-Free-Zone" to emotionally stabilize your relationship. And that's just step 2!
Ask me about developing your own divorce prevention action-plan.