How To Have A Healthy Sex Life As You Age

How To Have A Healthy Sex Life As You Age

How To Have A Healthy Sex Life As You Age

better sex life middle age couple
How to keep your relationship sexy, healthy and affair-free as you grow older.

There is a very common myth about infidelity, supported by Hollywood hype, that says that people are unfaithful because of sex. She's younger, he's more buff, they have hotter sex in exotic positions. In real life, affairs are NOT love stories and they are very, very rarely about sex. Infidelity experts agree that the majority of affairs start in an attempt to have emotional needs met. Experts Agree: Cheating Is Not About Sex

One of the biggest ways you can kindle the blazing love in your marriage is to have a vibrant sex life that meets the desires of both partners. Having a dynamic, vivacious married sex life is not something that "just happens"—especially as the years roll by. To maintain a level of emotional and physical intimacy that is satisfying to both partners over the decades takes investment and resources, but meeting the need of satisfying physical intimacy is a strong step towards affair-proofing your marriage. Sex can be great for both of you, for a lifetime!

In Your 20s:
In our twenties, we are usually at the peak of health and in the prime for physical intimacy. To affair-proof your marriage at this age, the best thing you can do is share sex with your partner as frequently as you both wish, and go on a journey together to learn what turns you on, what turns you off, and where your boundaries are as a couple.

Some of this decade's sexual health issues can be urinary tract infections, sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, and for her period cramps! So work with your doctor to find a UTI treatment that works for you, but don't neglect intimacy during a UTI—it's a perfect time to consider oral for your partner. 7 Must-Read Sex Tips

Although STDs can occur in any decade, during your twenties if you are going to have more than one sexual partner, safe sex can not be emphasized enough; and remember birth control pills prevent pregnancy but do not protect against STDs. Birth control is a very controversial subject. Everyone from physicians to religious leaders will have something to say about this topic, and yet I would encourage the couple to reach agreement on when and how to time pregnancy.

For women it's important to know that hormonal birth control does chemically change your hormones and thus can affect your libido and sex life. If you do lose your sex drive, living in a sexless marriage will make your partner vulnerable to infidelity—so go check it out and see if another method would reap results but also allow you to have a libido in higher gear.

In your 30s:
In your thirties, many couples have the added stress and responsibilities of homes, careers and children. All of these things can lead a couple to neglect their sexuality and forget that they are lovers first and parents second.

In addition, some of this decade's sexual health issues can also be sex-dampening: pregnancy, yeast infections, endometriosis, and for her, PMS. Taking the time to affair-proof your marriage in your thirties isn't just a good idea for "someday"—it's a requirement that needs to be addressed now, while the kids are young and the bills are high, or else the marriage will be vulnerable to the temptation to stray.

According to statistics from the National Center for Health Statistics, Centers for Disease Control, the average duration of first marriages is just a little longer than 8 years and the average age of the spouses in a first divorce is mid-thirties. So affair-proofing your marriage in your thirties is vital! Tips For An Affair-Proof Marriage

Pregnancy and fertility can be a big stress for both partners, as hormones change over the monthly cycle and both worry if they are able to conceive. Once a woman is pregnant, her body goes through such rapid change it's hard for her to keep up with it—and hard for him to know what to do for her! If one partner is infertile it can be such a shock that an affair can easily be born during this period. Thus during this decade it can be busy and frazzling, but it is direly important to take the time and make the effort to stay connected emotionally, give your partner a safe place, and remember to be lovers.

In your 40s:
Once you and your spouse are in your forties, your sex life can have a re-invigoration that can sometimes feel like a second honeymoon!

Both partners do go through some physical changes at this age. For example women may experience incontinence after pregnancy, her periods may be fewer and lighter, and many women in their forties enter peri-menopause, that time just before menopause, as fertility slows down but does not stop. For men, some common health issues that affect your sex life are heart attack, stress, diabetes or increasing weight.

This decade is also ripe for either one of the partners to have a "mid-life crisis" as they seek to regain their youth and prove to themselves that they've "still got it." But despite these changes, now that you've been together a long time and gotten through the years when young children demand your time and energy, this decade is a great period to reconnect deeply. You know yourself and your own body, what brings you pleasure, and now is the time to share the desire you've had for each other for so long.

The University of Texas did a study that a woman's sex drive is highest in her forties! Just one small note: a woman in peri-menopause can still be fertile, and more than a few couples have received the gift of a surprise late-life pregnancy during this sexual renewal. So please remember to practice whatever family planning method you and your partner have agreed on. Affair-proof your marriage during this decade by reliving the passion and desire of hot sex... this time with the partner who has been with you through thick and thin.

In Your 50s:
Our love lives last into our fifties and beyond—well beyond. Although the list of physical changes grows in the fifties and beyond, we will be sexual beings for our entire lifetime, so this is a great decade to prepare for a lifetime of great sex.

The most important thing to remember in the fifties and beyond is that sex is much more than just intercourse. Make your partner a high priority. Pay attention to his or her needs and wants. Take time to understand the changes you both are facing. Try different positions and new times, so you both enjoy it and are both sexually satisfied.

Believe it or not, even after a lifetime together men and women are still both vulnerable to affairs in this decade because their needs are changing, but their partner doesn't want to make the effort to change with them. So make the time; take the time.

During this decade some typical health issues than can affect a satisfying love life are arthritis, making positions painful; chronic illnesses such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure, or cancer; and medications that need to be taken for those ailments. For women, she may experience a hysterectomy, which profoundly affects the hormones and sex drive, her period will likely stop entirely, and she will enter menopause. As testosterone lowers in the body, men experience andropause which is very similar to menopause in women.

Thus in our fifties, sixties, seventies and later it is possible to still have a deeply fulfilling, intimate sex life by paying attention to the changes, remaining flexible, and meeting your partner's needs physically and emotionally. Don't forget, the largest sex organ in the body is the MIND!

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