You may be surprised to learn that the one simple question in my headline is enough to freak out more people than you would ever imagine. In fact...perhaps you clicked on it because you’re one of them? In any event, if you can’t answer that question easily, confidently and without reservation, the truth is you probably have no business even dating. That’s because people who don’t know their own value invariably attract partners who don’t respect or appreciate their true value...and that’s the best case scenario! Stack up a few of those incredibly painful experiences back-to-back and it leads to an inevitable downward spiral in your own self esteem that left unchecked can create a world of pain and heartbreak.
Look at it this way
More from YourTango: The Way to True Love is Through Self Love
Imagine if you were in a foreign country where you didn’t speak the language and didn’t have a clue about the currency. Then as you’re walking down the street, you stroll into a loud, crowded and bustling marketplace filled with interesting items you’ve never seen before in your life. There are people everywhere, darting quickly from table-to-table, speaking very quickly and loudly while gesturing madly. Then you spot this one thing that you’d love to have. The question is: would you reach your hand into your jam-packed pocket full of bills in the local currency you don’t understand and hold it out in both hands while the merchant eagerly snatches up bills, all the while trusting him to be honest and take only what it’s worth...and nothing more? If you’re honest, this little scenario would probably make you nervous because it’s essentially a “perfect storm” that would trigger every possible emotion that goes along with the feeling of being taken advantage of or getting “ripped off.”
You have GOT to know your value
More from YourTango: Self Confidence: 4 Steps To Feel Good About Yourself
Just like in the scenario above, the lesson is simply this: if you don’t know your own value, you are at the absolute mercy of anyone who fails to appreciate or respect what you have to offer. That’s because your own positive self image is the only thing that stands between you and a world of disappointment and hurt. Simply put, if you don’t know your value and you allow someone else to calculate it for you – it’s no longer their fault if they short-change you or take advantage of you. Now let me be clear: I am not giving rotten people who treat others poorly a free pass to be jerks. Karma is a powerful force and it will even the score in due time. What I am saying is that it is your responsibility to do your own work and not spend the rest of your life playing the role of “victim” when things don’t go your way.
So how do you discover your value? Keep Reading...