But don't worry — there's help.
You just finished an extreme make out session, and you feel like your clothes are going to catch fire if you don't get naked immediate and get down to business. The clothes go flying, hands go fondling, and ... she's not wet. Both of you are disappointed. She may even feel embarrassed and ashamed.
Guys, welcome to the female version of ED — failure to lube. The funny thing is that this happens to everyone at some point or another. Sometimes things just aren't right and our bodies won't cooperate. But it doesn't mean she's not turned on.
There are six surprisingly common things happening behind the scenes that may be making it difficult for her to self-lubricate:
1. You aren't getting enough sleep.
Not surprisingly, a lack of good sleep puts stress on our bodies. It depletes our energy stores, making it much more likely that our minds may be willing but our bodies unable to perform. And with stress comes an inability to self-lubricate enough for sex.
2. You're drinking too much caffeine.
If she's been using Starbucks, Red Bull, or any other number of other supercharged drinks to keep her going, all that caffeine comes with a cost. For some women, it can inhibit the ability to get wet, and it even makes it difficult for some women to reach climax.
3. Your allergies meds are drying you out.
Every year, millions of allergy sufferers find comfort in over-the-counter or prescription medications. The problem? Many of those meds wind up drying out the mucous membranes, especially if they're designed to relieve congestion. Many people don't stop to consider there are other areas that can be dried out — areas that you don't necessarily WANT to dry out.
4. You're stressed the f*ck out.
Men and women throughout the country have to deal with overwhelming amounts of stress. Studies have shown that stress can lead to Erectile Dysfunction (ED) in men, so it comes as no surprise that it affects women just as harshly. In addition to lowering our libidos, it can make it very difficult to get wet.
5. Your depression medication is causing problems.
If she's been feeling depressed, she already may not have much of a libido. Unfortunately, if she's taking medication to help her cope (including anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medicines), those may increase her libido and desire for sex, but make it difficult for her to produce her own lubrication.
6. You're dehydrated.
And finally, without water, producing your own natural lubrication becomes nearly impossible. We're not talking just any beverage that lists water in its ingredients. In order for your body to function properly, you need water — and lots of it. More water equals more wetness, plain and simple.
At any point in her life, a woman may be dealing with some or all of these things. She may be willing and wanting, but simply unable to get on her own or with help from you. This is why personal lubricants make a fantastic addition to any bedroom.
Lubes don't make women less sexually appealing, and they don't mean men aren't good at turning their partners on. They're simply another fun tool that you can use to get down to business, even when your body isn't cooperating.
So what are you waiting for? Drink some water, ditch the meds, get naked, and lube up.