So many of my clients ask me whether they should date more than one man at a time. As their search for love heats up, suddenly there are a few guys who are interested and they don't know how to handle it. The other scenario is that they fall in love too quickly with one guy and end up heartbroken time after time. Have either of these situations happened to you?
When I was looking for love, I often dated up to three guys simultaneously. I wasn't trying to hit some number in the Guinness Book of World Records. Rather, my goal was simple: to find a guy I could date more than three times, hoping this would lead to a relationship.
Frequently, men would drop out after one, two or three dates. Since there was no way to know who would stick around, I dated as many guys as I was interested in at the same time. That's why I'm an advocate for "volume dating." I dated 30 men in 15 months in order to eventually meet my husband.
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This is very different than dating more than one person long-term. Let me explain what I mean by "dating." From my perspective as a dating coach, dating is only the first four to ten dates. Once you have an unspoken date on Saturday night, you have moved into the first phase of a relationship.
I point this out because within the first few dates with one man, you shouldn't allow yourself to feel so emotionally attached that seeing someone else would be a problem. Remember, until you're in an exclusive relationship where this has been discussed and agreed on, you are free to seek out other partners. So, I want to be clear — a few dates is not by any means a relationship.
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The problem comes in when women feel prematurely attached which keeps them from being willing to date other guys. This limits your options before you know you are on the right path. That's how heartbreak happens — when you think you've found "the one" after two dates, and then he never calls again. Playing The Field: The Pros & Cons Of Dating Around
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