Accept Your Man For Who He Is Or Let Him Go

There's a disappointing truth about men that women need to finally realize.

By Clay Andrews — Last updated on Apr 10, 2023

Photo: Jacob Lund / shutterstock

woman and man in classic car, woman with tattoos, man with beard, lovingly sitting together

There's an important consideration to keep in mind about men. In fact, it is a downright unfortunate truth. What is it? Simply, you cannot change a man.

If you meet him and he has little career ambition, that is unlikely to change any time soon. It is especially unlikely to change because of you. How you find him is how he is likely to stay. Seriously.

No, the power of your love (or whatever) won't inspire him to change. Playing mind games or squabbling in power struggles will not inspire him to change, at least not for long.

Sure, you might browbeat him into submission through nagging or complaining, but that change isn't likely to stick. He'll start to harbor resentment toward you for "making him change." Then, he'll eventually revert back to his original habits that upset you in the first place.

But maybe he can change himself (and no, that's not a contradiction)

Am I saying that men don't change? Absolutely not; people change all the time. You're probably not the same woman you were ten years ago. However, change has to come from a true desire to change within one's self. It can't come from nagging, complaining, threats, ultimatums, mind games, manipulation, convincing, or anything else.

Simply put, how you found him is how he is likely to stay.

You cannot change him and you should not expect to change him. You have only one fundamental choice: You can either accept him as he is or you can leave him.

Is it time to accept him for who he is — today — or let him go?

If you are truly upset with some character flaw of his, then you're much better off leaving the relationship than trying to make him change. Why?

First of all, he won't change for you. Really, he won't. Second, the more time you spend with someone who you fundamentally are not willing to accept and will not make you happy, the less time you have to find someone who will make you happy and meet your requirements in a mate.

Since you can't expect to change the man, and if you can't be happy with him the way that he is, you need to leave the relationship. This will create more space and room in your life to attract the right kind of man with whom you can have a great relationship.

Remember to use your time wisely

Many women are bad at ending relationships. Instead of cutting their losses when they aren't happy in the relationship, they often hang on for months or years hoping that things will somehow get better (mostly through various failed attempts at changing their partner).

And this all amounts to lost time that could have been spent looking for, dating, and sharing a life together with the right man who can man you happy.