When to Have Sex in a Relationship


When to Have Sex in a Relationship
When is the right time for sex when you are looking for a long term relationship?

SEX, SEX, and more SEX. It comes up quite quickly in dating, many times from the first date. It lingers between both of your thoughts and you might be wondering when will be the right time to let all systems go? If you do sleep with him, will it mess up your chemistry and will he end of pulling away? Or, can it elevate the budding chemistry and feed the relationship? If you are looking to attract a long term relationship, here are some ideas to think about.

Let’s get one thing straight, men think about sex all the time. We are built to be more sensitive to visual stimulation and can be distracted by every curve of your body. Nature definitely is a fan of procreation, and evolution has favored the species that knows how to do it and do it often. Homo sapiens made the cut on that bar of excellence and men have enjoyed carrying the torch for the survival of the human race. However, throughout this evolution, it was generally the female that chose the male.


As we expressed our Alpha qualities of potential provider and protector, you ladies sat back and picked the best choice for your DNA and for the survival of the family. There was some serious assessment that went into that choice. However, in the 21st Century, it seems that assessment can become as easy as getting an” A” on a test by just simply signing your name.

Your animal kingdom sisters of yesteryear would take this mating dance to the fullest extreme and spend their time figuring out which male was the right match. The men who responded to her mating call would attempt to prove their worth via signs of physical dominance, exotic sounds, and/or a release of various scents. Only when she felt secure in the right match did she select the male to perform the wondrous act. I veer off onto Darwinian Drive to say that inside your DNA are thousands, actually, millions of years of female species ruling the mating game and performing top notch mating dances and assessments. Evolutionary psychologists and anthropologists would argue evolution has given you ladies many of the same tools to perform the same assessment to pick the right match for you in 2012.

However, you need time to assess the match. Since we are no longer primates roaming around trying to procreate to continue the human race or cavemen needing a partner just to survive, we are procreating and coupling for different reasons. As higher conscious beings, we couple and do the act of procreation for various reasons: fun, joy, excitement, partnership, and love (to name a few). Therefore, since our reasons may vary, so should the assessment. Good assessment also takes more time.

Sure, you might have sex on the first date and end up getting married. However, there might be a much greater chance of having sex on the first date and then learning that you are a horrible match, your values don’t line up, or that he is just looking for casual fun.

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Date Coach Christian Anderson

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