Why Women Get Played By The Men They Date

By

Why Women Get Played By The Men They Date
Learn why women let these men destroy their self-esteem.

Women who get played by men aren't "dumb" or "inexperienced". Smart women get played all the time … and not because the guy is bright or smooth, but because his bullsh*t story has enough tangible possibility for it to be believable. Moreover, these "players" aren't useless men. They watch and wait — predators of a sort — and fill a specific need that a woman is looking for. And not just any need, but a core need she wants filled: sex, affection, security, attention, freedom, romance, etc.

Once that need begins being filled, she starts ignoring the glaring red flags of his other behavior. And because his romantic repertoire is meager (at best), he begins dropping back and/or not fulfilling her other critical wants/needs, but her initial core need is still being met. This is a dangerous death spiral for her self-esteem, as she begins wondering why he's filling one but not the rest, so she thinks she "must not be worth it."

 

Her feelings of inadequacy lend themselves to her trying more and more and putting up with worse and worse behavior ... until he leaves. She then wonders what she did wrong, and what she did to deserve him treating her so poorly. Her self-esteem has taken multiple hits, and she needs a boost. And oftentimes another wrong guy begins filling that core need, and the cycle repeats.

The way through: What's needed is a realization that in any relationship, there is always a trade-off. There will be needs of yours that can be met, and others that your partner can't possibly meet because they either aren't aware, don't have the skills or simply don't want to. Apart from met or unmet needs, if the relationship is based on them holding you at arm's length emotionally, physically or spiritually, the trade-off is most-often too unbalanced for any long-term success.​ Better to cut things off sooner than later and seek your companionship in a place where it can be met and/or appreciated.

More dating advice from YourTango:

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
Article contributed by

Charles J. Orlando

Author

You can also follow me on:

http://www.facebook.com/theproblemismen

http://twitter.com/charlesjorlando

Email: advice@charlesjorlando.com

Location: Los Angeles, CA
Credentials: Other
Other Articles/News by Charles J. Orlando:

Why Having A "Type" Isn’t Doing You Any Favors [VIDEO]

By

We're pretty sure that we all have a "type". But if you've noticed that all of your relationships end in the same way, you may want to reevaluate how you approach to the dating game. Seriously, while having a type can have its perks, it can also hurt your love life. In fact, dating the same type of person pretty much sets us up for failure. ... Read more

Dear Holidays: I Hate You

By

OK, I know how that headline sounds (especially to those of you who love Christmas). But the truth is, my thoughts on the holidays are not so finite and/or rooted in hatred. And … I'm not talking about the consumer-side nor the religious aspects of the holiday season. So let's just pause and clear a few things up here: No matter what ... Read more

Here's The #1 Reason Why Women Cheat [VIDEO]

By

Level with us here. Have you ever noticed that in almost every single movie that we see, when someone commits adultery, it's usually the guy? Why is that? For some reason, there's a common misconception that the man is the only person in the relationship who can stray from his partner. Well, we're going to keep it real with you and say that just ... Read more

See More

 
My Videos
ASK YOURTANGO MORE QUESTIONS
Must-see Videos
SEE MORE VIDEOS
Most Popular