Blindsided by your partner's change of heart, a sudden break up can throw your life into chaos.
"I hate breakups."
"But I hate being alone too."
"I feel trapped."
Can you relate? Breakups can be paralyzing. Blindsided by your partner's change of heart, a sudden disappearance can throw your entire life into chaos. At times it takes years to recover. And then you want to try again? Many say "No Thanks."
Do you still ache for love, though? Is there a part of you that just can't let go of the chance that there is a man just right for you? Hang on to that slim hope. It is that bit of hope that has led you here.
There is a vapor trail of painful encounters that goes back many years for all people. Each person experiences "heartbreak" uniquely, but some accumulate layers of disappointment, each heartbreak fertilizing the one that came before, all growing together and getting more and more crippling.
The fact is...all that is true. But, there is another game behind the game that you don't even know is going on. You have an inner protective system that is on autopilot and you are conditioned to believe that love is hard, painful and ultimately disappointing.
Your brain, amazing organ that it is, has your survival on automatic pilot. Just like your breathing and heartbeat, there are certain things your body does that are automatic.
If your brain senses a threat that reminds it of a time of extreme pain in the past, an instant burst of stress chemicals flows through your body and freezes you in place. That sudden loss of forward momentum is deeply distressing.
Once that happens, your body shuts down all non-essential functions and sends you into high alert. You are locked out of access to your higher self, that part of you that hums when you are having an awesome day.
After a breakup, it is critical to your future loving self that you detox from the floods of stress chemicals that define your breakup blues. When you flash back to the pain of a past breakup, it means that you are still in the grips of the original shock.
You can try to hide from these feelings but learning how to stop freaking out over your ex will not only cure your blues, it will also strengthen your chances to manifest a better guy the next time around.
Here are Five Keys To Moving On:
1. You are hardwired for changing your mood. Science is proving that brain chemistry can be manipulated purposefully and mood change is easier to manage than you think. Your end game is to train your brain to bounce you back to neutral as quickly as possible.
2. Your body can shift gears like a car and you can learn how to do it. If you are new here, please realize that it takes time to discover your own inner body cues that will help you find your own Mood Changer. You have lived a long time with the brain habits present today. Trust the process and only do the exercises that fascinate you.
More Juicy Content From YourTango:
- Was Your Ex Literally The Worst? 5 Ways You Can Bounce Back
- The 10 REAL Reasons Men Dump You (Listen Up, Ladies!)
- 5 Breakup Myths That Are Total BS