How To Nourish And Heal Your Inner Child
You must discover what hurt you as a child in order to grow and heal into your true self.
getty Working with your inner child is hugely effective for making positive changes to self-worth in your adulthood.
The majority of your subconscious programming stems from your younger years. These are then interwoven with forming beliefs and values from your caregivers and environment, which can impact you greatly as you grow older.
Some of this subconscious programming can end up being hurtful to you as an adult. So, learning how to heal your inner child of past pain is an important step in becoming a healthy, whole individual — no matter what age you are.
Children are very trusting to those around them and will always gravitate toward love.
If you did something to upset a parent or guardian, you would often feel guilt and shame and act in ways that initiate winning their love again.
Love and affection gives you a sense of belonging and connection while building trust as you grow older. It's the most powerful force in human existence.
Most people experienced the attachment and affection they needed as a young baby. But if physical touch, affection, or attachment was sparse during the early stages of life, it can have a big impact on your ability to connect with others as you grew.
However, as you move through childhood the twists and turns entwine more lessons as challenges were tossed into your life experience. This could be either via family dynamics or within the system of school and education.
When you're in your early years, you learn about forming relationships, empathy, emotions and control.
If your freedom was limited, you found unhelpful ways to gain control of your emotions. Fears, abandonment, rejection, detrimental habits, high achievement, and anxiety are all examples of grappling with survival.
You want to be loved and be lovable, however if these emotions aren’t processed naturally and positively through life experience, you bring them into adulthood.
The following exercise is to help anyone who is feeling any form of self-doubt. This could be negative thoughts, fears that hinder success or create feelings of loneliness, isolation, low self-esteem and detrimental habits.
Know that working with your inner child can be a very healing experience.
And it need not take a lifetime of therapy. Tackling these hurdles in a solution-focused way allows you to see the positives in your life experience.
All challenges can be re-framed into a learning experience. This is when you get your power back.
Find a time at home when you won't be disturbed and practice this excercise to connect with your inner child.
Find a time and space where you won't be distracted or disturbed.
As though you're going into meditation, take three deep breaths in and out.
Imagine a TV screen in front of you. Switch it on, and bring in a picture of your younger self on the screen.
Connect to this younger you, what do you feel, see, or hear? Can you hear the sound of play, happiness, or sorrow?
As you connect to your younger self, gently bring your adult self into the "movie." See your adult self lean forward to offer a hug.
As you hug, transmit the feeling love to your younger self. Speak to this younger version of you either quietly in your mind or out loud.
See the adult you giving good advice, wisdom, and telling your younger self how brave, powerful, clever they are for getting through challenges. Notice the feelings of forgiveness and accept your younger self for any misunderstandings, shame, embarrassment, or guilt.
Acknowledge if your younger self has anything to say back to your adult self. What does that younger self want to say to you? What do they need?
Give your younger self all the advice, wisdom, and mentoring they need. Give more love and hugs with kind words as though you were talking to someone you dearly love.
Life is all about learning.
Life is a process of learning and growing, and no parent or guardian can protect a child 100 percent of the time. In fact, over-protection is equally as detrimental and could cause a child to feel vulnerable when they eventually go out into the big, wide world.
The most important thing in any healing journey is to shift from victim mentality into a landscape of learning.
Notice how all the challenges you overcame made you the person you are today. Love that person as you are now.
Step into the journey once again of healing your inner child.
Caroline Rushforth is a mind and life coach who wants to offer you support in overcoming the problems of your past and healing your inner child. For more information on how she can help you, or to receive a free 30-minute video consultation, email her here.