Countless studies and surveys show that moms are chronically overworked and undersexed. One of the hardest things to do is to fess up that you’d rather sleep or read a good book than have sex. Most moms have been there: you have those loving moments throughout the day where you think of your man and that maybe after the kids are in bed tonight, you'll put on that slinky little nightie you've had in the dresser and surprise him.
But between the time you have that thought and you're both settled at home by the end of the day, a hundred things have happened, along with a hundred mood shifts, and you're tapped out long before the kids' bedtime even rolls around.
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Mothers are natural caregivers who often make the mistake of forgetting to give to themselves and their relationships, too. But a happy mom makes for a happier relationship and family—and having enough sex is a large part of having a fulfilled sense of self. YourTango Experts tell us three ways to have more sex as a busy mom and three reasons why this bedroom time is so important.
3 Ways To Make More Time For Sex
1. Have the right attitude about having sex. Yes, sex takes a certain amount of energy, which moms often funnel into their kids, their careers and other responsibilities instead of themselves. But having sex with your partner is one of the best ways you can relieve stress and feel more connected to your relationship and yourself. If you find you're in the habit of reviewing all the reasons you can't or shouldn't have sex right now ("I feel fat," "I need these 15 extra minutes of sleep"), try thinking instead of all the benefits—and then stop thinking so much and just do it!
2. You plan for everything else as a busy mom, so why not plan for intimacy? The sad truth is that things usually don't get accomplished unless we plan for them because we're too busy. Begin to anticipate what needs to be done in order to allow the "planned event" into your schedule. You're worth it (so is he), so plan for it. Short On Time? 10 Ways To Squeeze In More Sex
3. Try something new. Sometimes things can get redundant in the bedroom. Kick it up a notch by doing things you've never done before. Try different positions or locations. You know what they say: if you keep doing the same old thing, you're going to get the same old results.
Having sex isn't going to happen unless you make it happen. We're all too busy and too tired, but it’s one of the best ways to lovingly connect with your partner physically, spiritually and emotionally.
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- YourTango Expert and Health & Wellness Coach Kris Henderson
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