The search for happiness has been a topic in popular psychology recently and the consensus of several gurus has been that we humans are wired to be most content when our lives are focused on love and work. Love can mean all forms of intimate social interaction, and work can mean any regular organized effort toward a valued goal. 15 Ideas for Keeping Romance Alive Year-Round
One way promising way to maximize happiness is to strive, together, toward the valued goal of improving the most intimate relationship in your life. Learning how to make one another happy can be seen as a valued goal for anyone in a relationship. Happiness in relationship can be approached by this five skills. Improvement in these skills is noticeable and measurable; progress can generate increased satisfaction quickly. Framing and sharing these skills to improve the quality of your relationship can enhance bonding. How To (Re)Ignite the Romance
1. Listening is a skill we can all improve in. Deep inside we all crave the undivided attention of someone who puts us first. True listening is a gift that nourishes and heals the other person. It's not easy and it requires ignoring all the other distractions, which include our own feelings, thoughts and judgments. Mirroring the other person's posture, facial expression and vocal tone and rhythms will show your partner you are truly listening. Harville Hendrix describes the benefits and techniques of this process in detail in his book, Getting The Love You Want.
2. Ask for what you want. This requires knowing what you want, which is not as obvious as it may seem. It also requires breaking a lot of bad habits, like assuming you should get what you want automatically, complaining about not getting it automatically or using a variety of manipulative strategies to get what you want without having to ask. The art of asking for what you want, in a way that makes it easy for the other person to give, is my definition of assertiveness.
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