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How to make the pain go away quicker.
By Brittney Lindstrom — Written on Oct 31, 2017
Everyone wants to heal from a broken heart faster than the speed of light. Unfortunately, it does not quite work that way. Everyone has their own process for mending their broken heart.
Healing is a process that doesn’t have a specific time frame and is different for everyone.
Personally, I used to stalk my ex’s social media and trust me, that is not the healthiest thing to do when you’ve had your heart broken. It took me a while to figure out the best healing process that benefits me in the long run.
Throughout my journey of several heartbreaks, there are some little things that were beneficial to me for healing as well as speeding up the process of healing from heartbreak.
The following tips are helpful in how to get over a broken heart so that you can heal from a heartbreak faster:
1. Block the other on all social media accounts.
This is easier said than done. I used to be the one to stalk my ex's Facebook page and it was very unhealthy. The reason behind checking their Facebook was to see if they were dating someone else.
Why would I want to know that? And is that my business? No. Once you do it, you'll feel a weight lifted off of your shoulders.
2. Write down a list of the mean and disappointing things they said and did to you.
You need to remind yourself of why the relationship didn't work out. There may have been things your ex said to you that made you feel angry, sad, upset, or uncomfortable. Write them down. It's a way of reminding yourself that it ended for a reason.
Remember every time they disappointed you or let you down. This can be anything from forgetting to get your favorite candy to not showing up to an important event.
We tend to neglect these disappointments and dwell on the good memories. Write these down. They will be reminders of how wrong they were for you and how much more you deserve.
3. Get rid of anything sentimental.
Well, let's be real here...why do you need it and why would you want it? You don't. Throw it out. NOW.
4. Start a new project.
There's no better time than the present to start a new project or hobby. If you're into arts and crafts, start a new project. Start something new and positive that can kick-start your new beginning.
5. Let go of the fantasy.
The fantasy you had in your head of the two of you is no longer your reality. Get that out of your head and stop fantasizing about something that is no longer a possibility.
6. You are allowed to still love them.
Of course, you still love them. If you didn't, this wouldn't be difficult for you. It is okay to still love them. It is totally normal. You are allowed and it is okay.
7. Feel your feelings.
Make sure you process what and how you're feeling. Be sure to work through your feelings. Many times people avoid working through the heartbreak and pain because it's easier to avoid.
Trust me, it is better to work through the pain rather than avoid it. When you avoid it, the pain is still there and you carry it with you to all other relationships.
8. Make peace with the past.
Come to terms with the past. Make sure you rectify your wrongs or at least do everything in your power to if possible.
If not, don't allow yourself to make the same mistakes in the future. Make peace with the end of the relationship and identify the good and bad things in the relationship.
9. Make plans with friends or family.
Make sure to surround yourself with positive and supportive people during your healing process. Your support system is exactly who you need to be around in order to cope with the pain and sadness of the breakup.
10. Go on a certain number of dates per month.
Continue to meet new people. You may meet some people who you become close friends with. Not only is this a distraction for you but this also opens up your mind and heart to the possibility of future happiness. This also opens up your mind to meet new people and engage in meaningful conversation regardless of whether or not anything goes further.
These ideas are definitely easier said than done. I never said these were easy. I promise you that following through with the things listed here will only make you stronger and allow you to heal much quicker.
You are never alone and know that there are others out there who are struggling with heartbreak. Pain is never easy but it is temporary.
Brittney Lindstrom is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Certified Rehabilitation Counselor.