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Will He Like You Naked?

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body image
Embrace your body, girl!
Why women over 40 should relax about their bodies when it comes to sex!

Are you excited about the notion of hopping into bed with your new guy? Slowly undressing, eyes locked, savoring each other's bodies...lust so intense that you both might explode? Or does the thought of it make you so nervous you want to puke? Let's face it: if you're working on attracting a fabulous man into your life, you better be ready for sex! I know that for many of you—especially if you're dating in your 40's, 50's, or beyond—it's been a while since you stood naked in front of a man. 2 Lessons Single Women Over 40 Can Learn From Oprah

Many of you tell me that you look forward to enjoying this intimate and glorious part of a good relationship, but the thought of presenting your naked body to your new man seems daunting. After all, you have those stretch marks, sagging boobs, cellulite and wrinkled skin...all kinds of flaws, right?

More from YourTango: Should Women Be Responsible For Confirming Their Dates With Men?

I received an email the other day that reminded me of how scary this is. I lived this myself—a room could never be dark enough—but I eventually learned the truth: most men just don't care. Here is my email exchange with "T."

"Dear Bobbi,

This subject has been on my mind and I really feel I can trust you. I have this huge fear! And I know it's one of the issues that holds me back from letting a man get too close...so here goes.

I have this horrible, ugly tattoo from my stupid teenage years right smack dab in the middle of my right buttock cheek. It's really embarrassing, and all I think about when dreaming of my perfect relationship is him knowing I have this ugly thing that he will see as unattractive when we're (I'm) naked. It would cost thousands of dollars to have it removed, and I just cannot afford it. What I am to do?

-T"

I responded with the following:

"Hi Girlfriend,

I appreciate your concern. But to be honest, this is one of the easiest questions I've had to answer in a long time. I'll tell you what an old (skinny) boyfriend said to me when I was sharing my concern about my fat thighs:

'When you're naked with a man, all he sees is that he has a naked woman in front of him, and all he thinks of is that he's about to have sex. That's it. He couldn't care less about your thighs.'  Good Lovers Come In Many Sizes & Other Truths

I can guarantee you that your tattoo will mean absolutely nothing to 99% of men. They care far less about our bodies than we do. My husband, for instance, really hates tattoos. But would he have not married me if I had one? Heck no! In fact, he married me with far more body blemishes than that. What he does care about, as do most men, is that I'm okay with my body. If I am...well then so is he!

And don't forget: men have their own issues. They're fighting gravity just like we are and they're the ones who are primarily responsible for performing. As men climb into their 50's and 60's, they have their own concerns.

More from YourTango: Dating Rules That Change With Age

I am not minimizing your anxiety or making fun. I am being totally honest. Don't give it another thought. Rather, think about the next fabulous man who will be lucky enough to see your gorgeous cheeks! Do All Women Have Body Image Issues?

Now go out there and be brave. You'll see I'm right. Let me know how it goes!

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Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Author

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Should Women Be Responsible For Confirming Their Dates With Men?

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Let's face it: You are an awesome, capable, exceptional woman, we ALL are, but we're getting kinda old and we've been doing, thinking and believing the wrong things about ourselves and about men for a very long time. You can do what I finally did: Let go of all the old thoughts, habits, and behaviors that have been getting in the way of what you ... Read more

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