ProConnect

5 Reasons To Look Forward To Your 50s ... In Bed

By

grey haired woman smiling
Don't dread your 50s ... embrace them!
Learn why your 50s will be the best time to experience love.

I can say from personal experience that your 50s are the best time to experience love. While you might have been hooking up all over the place in your 20s, your choices were probably pretty crappy because you — like me in my 20s — had no idea what would create any kind of real happiness in your life.

Your 30s are all about turning into a grownup, making long-term plans, dealing with children and moving up ladders. In your 40s, you juggle all the responsibilities you created in your 30s including, for many, cleaning up past missteps. 

More from YourTango: Should Women Be Responsible For Confirming Their Dates With Men?

And then you blink, and you are in our 50s. You finally get to start living some of your dreams instead of just planning them. All your experiences before then — the joyful, educational and even the painful — prepared your for creating a delicious life in the years ahead — a life that most definitely includes grownup love.

As a dating and relationship coach for women over 40 and someone who became a first-time bride at age 47, I have both personal and professional experience with the pleasures of love after 50. Whether you're single, dating and looking for love or in a relationship and thinking it could be even better, here are five reasons why love can be so much lovelier after age 50:

1. It's me-me-me time. You are not running after little kids anymore, having to prove yourself in a career or trying to keep up with the Joneses. That means less exhaustion, more time in your schedule and extra room in your finances to splurge a bit more. There is more physical and emotional space for playfulness, love and sex. You haven't forgotten about everyone else, you just know you are only responsible for your own happiness. It's time to give yourself permission to have a whole lot of me-time.

2. You know fairytale from fact. After decades of fantasies and hopes of Prince or Princess Charming appearing, you can finally give up your unrealistic romantic notions that only lead to disappointment. The fantasy of finding or being a perfect "10" has passed, and good riddance! You are okay knowing that life can be unfair and people are complex. You kindly allow for others' frailties and blunders, as well as your own. This more realistic view of the world relieves much added pressure and translates to a far greater ability to love and be loved.

More from YourTango: Dating Rules That Change With Age

3. Your sex hormones meet in the middle. The volatility of the reproductive years has ended and your brain chemistry is rebalancing estrogen and testosterone. Men relax and become more comfortable with their feminine sides and women often seek fulfillment in their lives from a sense of mastery (their masculine sides). Gail Sheehy, the best selling author, contends that middle age is a time when our brains become more like the opposite sex. Women can enjoy "postmenopausal zest" and men explore "serene potency." Our differences fade, and we meet on more common ground. Add to that our greater ability and willingness to communicate, and it's the perfect time for men and women to explore and increase our intimacy. Keep reading ...

More love advice from YourTango:

Share this with someone you love (or even like a lot)!

Let's make it
FB official
Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Bobbi Palmer

Author

The Dating and Relationship Coach for Women over 40 and founder of Date LIke a Grownup.
Register for Bobbi's free monthly webcasts Grownup Girls' Night Out: Let's Talk About Men! where she gives you tips and tools about dating, sex, relationships and more!
 


 

Location: Long Beach, CA
Credentials: Other
Specialties: Communication Problems, Dating/Being Single Support, Empowering Women, Wellness
Other Articles/News by Bobbi Palmer:

Should Women Be Responsible For Confirming Their Dates With Men?

By

It's Monday and you're talking on the phone with a nice guy you're interested in. After some chit-chat he finally asks you out on a date. It goes something like this: Nice Guy: Do you want to go out for dinner Saturday night? You: Yes, that would be nice. Nice Guy: Okay, I'll call you later in the week to firm up the plans. I'm ... Read more

Dating Rules That Change With Age

By

“If it were a snake, it would ‘a bit ya!” That’s what Ethel Mertz always said to her husband Fred (Lucy Ricardo’s neighbors in I Love Lucy) when he’d wander around looking for his glasses – which were always on top of his head.  Well, this is what I could have said to my client Carol who hired me to help her ... Read more

3 Mistakes To Stop Making If You Want A Grown-Up Love Story

By

Let's face it: You are an awesome, capable, exceptional woman, we ALL are, but we're getting kinda old and we've been doing, thinking and believing the wrong things about ourselves and about men for a very long time. You can do what I finally did: Let go of all the old thoughts, habits, and behaviors that have been getting in the way of what you ... Read more

See More

Recent Expert Posts
Smooches

The Least & Most Open-Minded Cities In Online Dating

Wondering if your city is open-minded when it comes to online dating? Check out this data from Zoosk

Faith

3 Ways to Define Who You Want To Be

Sometimes the best way to know who you want to be is to notice how you react in the here and now.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Resources
How to find the right pro for you
10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

10 Reasons Mental Health Pros Should Join YourTango Experts

YourTango Experts can help your business go from good to great.

10 Steps To Improve Your Coaching Business

Take your coaching business from mediocre to great in no time…

Frequently Asked Questions About YourTango Experts

Thinking of joining? Here's all the facts you need to know to make the most of your membership.

Getting Your Guy To Join You In A Therapy Or Coaching Session

So how can your get your strong, self-reliant, superman to talk to an Expert with you?

Therapist/Counselors: Who We Are & What We Do

What exactly does a therapist/counselor do and can they really help?

See more resources>
HOT STUFF!
FROM OUR PARTNERS