I can say from personal experience that your 50s are the best time to experience love. While you might have been hooking up all over the place in your 20s, your choices were probably pretty crappy because you — like me in my 20s — had no idea what would create any kind of real happiness in your life.
Your 30s are all about turning into a grownup, making long-term plans, dealing with children and moving up ladders. In your 40s, you juggle all the responsibilities you created in your 30s including, for many, cleaning up past missteps.
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And then you blink, and you are in our 50s. You finally get to start living some of your dreams instead of just planning them. All your experiences before then — the joyful, educational and even the painful — prepared your for creating a delicious life in the years ahead — a life that most definitely includes grownup love.
As a dating and relationship coach for women over 40 and someone who became a first-time bride at age 47, I have both personal and professional experience with the pleasures of love after 50. Whether you're single, dating and looking for love or in a relationship and thinking it could be even better, here are five reasons why love can be so much lovelier after age 50:
1. It's me-me-me time. You are not running after little kids anymore, having to prove yourself in a career or trying to keep up with the Joneses. That means less exhaustion, more time in your schedule and extra room in your finances to splurge a bit more. There is more physical and emotional space for playfulness, love and sex. You haven't forgotten about everyone else, you just know you are only responsible for your own happiness. It's time to give yourself permission to have a whole lot of me-time.
2. You know fairytale from fact. After decades of fantasies and hopes of Prince or Princess Charming appearing, you can finally give up your unrealistic romantic notions that only lead to disappointment. The fantasy of finding or being a perfect "10" has passed, and good riddance! You are okay knowing that life can be unfair and people are complex. You kindly allow for others' frailties and blunders, as well as your own. This more realistic view of the world relieves much added pressure and translates to a far greater ability to love and be loved.
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3. Your sex hormones meet in the middle. The volatility of the reproductive years has ended and your brain chemistry is rebalancing estrogen and testosterone. Men relax and become more comfortable with their feminine sides and women often seek fulfillment in their lives from a sense of mastery (their masculine sides). Gail Sheehy, the best selling author, contends that middle age is a time when our brains become more like the opposite sex. Women can enjoy "postmenopausal zest" and men explore "serene potency." Our differences fade, and we meet on more common ground. Add to that our greater ability and willingness to communicate, and it's the perfect time for men and women to explore and increase our intimacy. Keep reading ...
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