Male perspectives on affairs from a survey by a psychic medium.
Over the years of delivering messages or answering questions surrounding a relationship, I can tell you that considerably fewer men have left their wives than the other way around.
However, because I became curious about the male perspective in an affair, I started asking men questions about what their thoughts were on an affair, whether they were having one or not.
In particular, for those who were having an affair (and yes, there were a fair number of them having affairs or flings), I asked them if they were going to leave their wives and I've decided to pass on to you the 3 most common things they said to me in our conversations:
1. "I'm having an affair with another woman; and, we both just want an affair; and we're going to keep it an affair so no one gets hurt."
One or more things were going on, such as:
a. Both parties truthfully only wanted an affair;
b. One person wasn't being truthful in the affair;
c. There were cultural differences involved—one person was from a culture where affairs were acceptable. There are cultures where it is more acceptable to have affairs, particularly for men, such as, in France, southern European cultures and Latin lovers is a term for a reason. Comprende?
2. "I cannot afford to get a divorce."
Let me expand on this: Many men and women define themselves through their ability to provide for their family and by the amount of money they make. Consequently, people frequently stay in a less-than-ideal relationship because they fear becoming less-of-what-they-define- themselves-as-being. They don't want to abandon their family and they don't want to lose control of a portion of their income.
3. "I have to wait until the children are older."
This reason was frequently the truth; but, in one case it was used as a ploy to lead-the-other-party-on through buying time.
The point of letting you in on these insights is to say what you already know in your being and that is "Someone always gets hurt in an affair." This isn't a judgment, it's just a fact.
If you don't want to hurt yourself or another, live by the below cliche' when you first intuitively sense there might be a mutually-romantic attraction nearby: "Give me a Jingle When You're Single." It's so short yet says so much and can certainly prevent a whole lot of pain.