The #1 Myth About Marriage, Debunked

By

The #1 Myth About Marriage, Debunked [EXPERT]
Behind every divorce is an extramarital affair, right? Wrong.

Janet and Mike were headed for divorce. So were Sally and Jim. Janet slept in the guest bedroom. She hardly spoke to Mike, unless it was a necessity.

Both had hired lawyers. Sally and Jim also had their divorce lawyers lined up. They hadn 't enjoyed each other's company in years. Talking led to screaming and both were sick of the fights.

How many infidelities had taken place between these two couples? Surprisingly, the answer was none. No one had acted out in an extramarital affair. Yet all four people—two very different marriages, with different styles and personalities—all were miserable enough to get divorced. But how come?

Let's look first at Janet and Mike. They met on a summer cruise and had a whirlwind love affair. Back home, living 300 miles apart, they were determined to marry and be together as soon as possible. Janet left her small town and her blossoming career as an event planner to move to Mike's city. Since he already owned a home next door to his parent's home, they decided to keep his home.

Romantic feelings and great sex soon gave way to problems resulting from being so close to in-laws. Everyone felt free to visit at any time. Privacy was rare. Janet craved company, as she was lonely and unable to relocate professionally ... but not the company of her mother-in-law.

Mike felt disappointed that Janet wasn't much of a homemaker, discounting all of her grievances that he had already decorated his house, planted his garden-his way, and she had no way to make the place her own.

Long story short: the marriage simply wasn 't working. After a failed effort to have a baby, the gulf was even wider. Divorce seemed to be only way out. Mike wanted peace again in his own home. Janet wanted to move back to her town and regain pride in herself.

Want to learn more? Check out Divorce Survival Guide!

For a limited time only, receive our eBook Divorce Survival Guide, a $5 value, yours free when you sign up for YourTango's daily newsletter!

More marriage advice from YourTango:

Article contributed by
Advanced Member

Barbara Becker Holstein

Author

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, Positive Psychologist and Happiness Coach

telephone: 732-571-1200  e-mail: drbarbara@enchantedself.com

Websites: Enchanted Self TheTruthforgirls next-year-in-jerusalem authorsspeaking positivepsychologyforwomen

Latest Books: The Truth (I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything), Next Year in Jerusalem: Romance, Mystery & Spiritual Awakening

You Tube: Enchanted Self, The Truth for Girls, Next Year in Jerusalem

Sign up for my newsletters: Enchanted Self,  The Truth for Girls

Sign up for my webinar on Women and Fantasy

Location: Long Branch, NJ
Credentials: EdD
Specialties: Couples/Marital Issues, Divorce/Divorce Prevention, Life Transitions
Other Articles/News by Barbara Becker Holstein:

Dreams Vs. Reality In Bringing Up Teens

By

Donna was such a nice kid! The whole family adored her. Sweet, easy to take places, considerate of grandparents—she even remembered their birthdays before her parents did. Who would have imagined that at sixteen her hair would be purple with yellow streaks, she would have a few too many piercings and would have scared her parents sleepless when she ... Read more

Think Your Kids Don't Know When You Are Fighting? Think Again.

By

In The Truth (I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everythng),* the girl lies awake in bed and later writes in her diary:"Last night my parents had a big fight. I could sort of hear them through the walls of my room. My eyes were shut tight but my ears were wide open, like elephant ears, trying to hear every word. I couldn't, but they made me ... Read more

How Young Is Too Young For A First Crush?

By

When I wrote The Truth (I'm a girl, I'm smart and I know everything) with the purpose of building self-esteem in girls and tweens and also helping women get back to their childhood wisdom and fun loving sides, a few women complained that I shouldn't have started out with the girl having a crush on the new boy in class.  After all, she was only ... Read more

See More

GET MORE ARTICLES LIKE THIS IN YOUR INBOX!

Sign up for our daily email and get the stories everyone is talking about.

Ask The Experts

Have a dating or relationship question?
Visit Ask YourTango and let our experts and community answer.

Stories we love
FROM AROUND THE WEB