How To Not Lose Yourself In A Relationship

Have you ever met a guy online or in person and thought wow, he could be the one. That wonderful feeling of excitement and possibility starts to grow inside of you and start to envision all the things you have been longing for might actually be at your doorstep, holidays together, what kind of father he might be or what vacations you might take.

But wait as your fantasy grows you notice so does that nagging voice in your head and that the excitement gives way to fear and doubt.

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You realize and can hear yourself saying that you have had this feeling before and you remember that you were disappointed and hurt, really hurt! That little voice inside you starts to get louder and louder reminding you of the bad things that happened last time you were feeling so excited. Your guard goes up and down goes your excitement and enthusiasm.

So how do you get and stay excited about the possible love of your life and not lose yourself in the process?

I believe that women don’t lose themselves in relationship as much as they over give! When a women gets excited about the possibilities of love, real love, the kind they have been dreaming of the tend to over give of themselves and compromising their boundaries in the hopes of love.

Many times, we want so desperately to make it work, maybe in part because we feel electric chemistry or we think this man might make an ideal father for my children, we compromise our boundaries.

Here are the 2 most important things to be aware of so you can make sure you don’t lose your spark while not losing yourself.

#1 Understand that love and giving are not the same as over giving. Knowing what you are needing and wanting in a relationship and what you are willing to do and give of yourself is the first step.

It is important that you are aware of what nurtures you, makes you come alive in all areas of your life with your partner not just one area as in sex or his ability to provide for you. Many women allow themselves to compromise here because they feel as though he is good enough and then over give of themselves to try and keep the man interested long enough to fall in love. This is never a good recipe.

#2 Believe in your ability to make good decisions. If you don’t feel that you can trust yourself you can never feel that you can trust a man. Self doubt is your #! Enemy! You have to know you! You have to know and love yourself enough to understand that the you are not the same person that made past mistakes. So many times we think NOW as if we are our old self with our old capabilities and limitations. You have learned many lessons in life. You are not the same venerable little girl that you were back when you were 19.

You must be able to trust yourself and have boundaries in order to have the loving relationship you dreams of. Next time your heart sings and you get that excited feeling in your stomach you can trust that you can go for it! Enjoy it and be ready for anything that comes your way because you can trust you!

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If you want to find out more about how to trust yourself and create effective boundaries that allow you to be even more amazing, meet me over at: www.FindLastingLoveNow.com

Feel free to email me personally anytime at: lori@loripinkerton.com