8 Empowering Steps To Help You GET OVER HIM ALREADY

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Heartbreak, Self

It's time.

One of the scariest things about relationships are the breakups. So much so, that in some cases, the fear of breaking up keeps people from pursuing potential partners in the first place.

But, as strange as it sounds, your breakups are important. Your past relationships teach you how to find success future relationships. You can move on, and you can grow in the process.

Follow these eight steps to get over a breakup and get back on the dating scene a wiser woman:

1. Cry as much as you want.

Cry a little, cry a lot, sob on your friend's shoulder, cry in the shower, cry on the drive into work.

There is nothing wrong with crying! It's just your body's way of releasing your emotions. Don't let anyone tell you to "put on a strong face" or "stop the waterworks." Cry it out. You're recovering from a broken heart ... for crying out loud.

2. Immediately delete or block him on Facebook.

Facebook is a dangerous place for the broken-hearted. First, there is the dreaded "relationship status" change. Then, there is the chance you'll be tempted to stalk your ex to see what he's up to, or worse, comment on his page, desperately asking him to take you back.

Don't succumb to Facebook pressure. Just go to your privacy setting and remove the relationship box completely so no one starts asking you questions. Then remove him or block him as a friend. If you don't, you'll be driven completely crazy by his updates.

Facebook has been known to drive people crazy and even contribute to the demise of an extraordinary amount of relationships. In a 2009 study, it was found that Facebook makes "contributions to the experience of jealousy in romantic relationships."

If Facebook wasn't the cause of the end of your relationship, don't let it be a reason to make your split that much more difficult.

3. Take up a "new-you" hobby.

If there was a hobby you took up with your ex (like hiking) stop that activity for a while — it's only going to remind you of him. Instead, take up a new hobby that takes your mind off the breakup.

If you're still angry about the breakup, opt for a hobby that lets you blow off some steam — like kick boxing. If you're in a phase of finding yourself, think back to a hobby you used to love as a child. Maybe you enjoyed dancing or painting.

Take up a hobby that is just for you and lose yourself in it.

4. DON'T have casual sex.

No, no, no. Don't fall for it — the "I'm just going to go out and have casual sex to mend my broken heart" thought process. It doesn’t work. It isn’t true. The only thing it will succeed in doing is making you feel worse about yourself than you did before.

The heartbreak doesn't go away just because you have a new guy on your arm. It takes time and effort. You have to allow yourself the space to once again be whole. To get to know yourself and build up your self-esteem.

Stay away from the casual sex. You'll thank yourself for it in the long run.

5. Change his number to "Do Not Call."

A friend of mine taught me this handy trick. If you are not ready to delete your ex's number from your phone, simply replace his name with "Do Not Call" or "Do Not Text." 

This way, every time you're ready to call and say something pathetic, or send him a nasty text message, his name will be a quick reminder to leave it alone. 

The more distance you can create between you and your ex, the quicker you will be on your road to recovery. But if you keep contacting him, it will only lead to more mean comments and stupid, meaningless arguments.

Some women even go as far as to get a new phone number and phone. While you don't have to go to that extreme, just try your best to not text him or call him.

6. Go out with your girlfriends.

Come on, it's been a while since you hit the town with your girlfriends. All women love the chance to get dressed up and put on their dancing shoes.

Going out with your girlfriends is a perfect way to distract yourself and let loose. Just avoid places that your ex frequents (or even places that friends of your ex frequent). You don’t need to ruin the night by bumping into any of them.

7. Remember that things will get better.

They say laughter is the best medicine and sometimes laughter really can help heal a broken heart. Although it might feel tough right now, you will laugh again soon.

In the meantime, watch funny movies, spend time with friends, pamper yourself at the spa, and just enjoy yourself.

8. Remember, you're fabulous!

We spend so much of our time beating ourselves down. Thoughts like, "Maybe it's because I'm not skinny enough," or, "I wish I had done things differently" plague us.

But instead of blaming yourself or highlighting your weaknesses, look back at the positive parts of your relationship. Think about the fun times and the important lessons you learned about yourself.

Take this time as a single lady to reflect on just how fabulous you are, flaws and all.

How did you get over a breakup? Tell us your story in the comments below. 

If you're looking for more dating advice, let the experts at Cupid's Cronies guide you to a new, happy relationship.



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