Neglect What You Don't Love And Nurture Yourself Everyday


Instead of asking more from yourself today, try striving for less ... less doubt and less worry.

The most loving thing you do for yourself today might be to stop what you are doing.

I am asking you to remove something from your to-do list today. Set it aside. Leave it for another day.

I am not suggesting procrastination. I am not suggesting neglect. Some things are urgent. And some things are absolutely necessary for our health, safety and livelihoods. Some things must be done or we won’t be honoring our top priorities. Some things must be done or opportunities will be lost.

I am asking you to stop doing one thing that doesn’t nurture love for yourself or another.

So if reading more tips on how to be happy in your relationship weighs you down with self-doubt today, stop. Enjoy the empty space. If you wish, try trusting your own judgment. How does that feel?

If you are doing something today because worry is driving you to do it, set it aside for one moment, one hour, one day. If you realize that worry is the only thing that spurs you to engage in that activity, perhaps your time would be better spent on other things.

If you are accustomed to doubting, stop for one day. You know what your voice of self-doubt sounds like. Catch it when it speaks to you. Then ignore it. Savor the silence.

Savoring small positive experiences for a few seconds every day can grow neural pathways that make it easier to savor the good stuff in the future—and easier to let go of the stuff that bogs us down, says neuroscientist and best-selling author Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

One other thing to scratch from daily habit is the phrase "I have to" today. Do you really have to? Chances are, you don’t. You might be using those words to inflate the sense of urgency so you can spur yourself to act even though you are reluctant.

To determine what can be set aside today, consider anything that feels coerced, pressuring, diminishing or draining. If it doesn’t clearly tie to a loving act for yourself, or those you care about, consider putting it on a one-less-thing-to-do list.

We aren’t here to be perfect. We are here to be happy and love one another, and sometimes stopping an action is the most loving act of all.

Warm regards,


Anne's book shelf: Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence, by Rick Hanson, Ph.D. Harmony Books.


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