Great sex is totally subjective. What I used to consider great sex does not even come close to subsequent sexual experiences, especially in recent years. I didn't know what I was missing because, at the time, I had nothing better to compare it to. Luckily for me, sex has become progressively better as I've learned so much about my own sexuality and relationships over the years. I have also learned a lot from working with couples on relationship and intimacy issues. In particular, I've gained great insight into women who have hang-ups with sexual intimacy.
Many women remain remarkably confused about what great sex is and how to have it. Sometimes they are shadowed by self-doubt, and clouded by sexual myths and misperceptions. Often women tend to get in their own way of being able to experience greater sexual pleasure and more intimate relationships. Their own insecurities are responsible for self-sabotaging opportunities for real intimacy. That brings us to the first and most important sex tip:
Rule 1: Stop comparing yourself to other women.
Every man I've talked to about sexuality and relationships agrees that the most attractive quality in a woman is self-confidence. When you compare yourself to other women, whether it may be people you know or have seen in magazines or in the media, it tends to trigger insecurity and a lack of confidence with your own body and sexuality. 5 Facts That Prove Men Aren't All Commitment-Phobes
If you focus on your self-perceived physical flaws, then it may draw more attention to them and distract you from enjoying the experience. Rather, practice conveying undeniable self-assurance and certainty that is obvious by the look in your eyes and the energy you project. Know that you are the one that he's lucky enough to be with, and make the best of the opportunity to deepen your connection and have a good time.
Rule 2: Lighten up!
Remember to have a sense of humor. Sex is not always picture perfect and impeccably performed like a scene out of a romance novel. There may be times when things just don't go quite the way you'd like them to. One of you may have difficulty with a certain sexual position, or get a cramp, or be interrupted by a phone call or a knock at the door. There may be awkward moments with involuntary bodily functions occurring during lovemaking, or capturing the interest of your dog who wants to get in on all the fun.
Sometimes you just need to laugh! As life, love and sex always organically unfold in unexpected ways. When you can lighten up and not take things so seriously, then it’s easier to enjoy sex however it all plays out. Do Looks Matter?
Rule 3: Speak up.
Communication is key, so ask for what you want. Take up a little pillow talk before or after sex to communicate what turns you on the most, or what may not necessarily be your cup of tea. Discuss your preferences and what works for you, as well as asking questions about what your partner is partial to. Share your fantasies and interests about sexuality, and if necessary, you can even demonstrate what feels good or how the best way is to make you orgasm.