A Beginner's Guide to Submission


A Beginner's Guide to Submission
Becoming a submissive is a very common sexual fantasy, but fulfilling it takes time and energy.

This content was written by Kinkly contributor CJ Edwards.

A submissive is an individual who willingly relinquishes control to another person, usually to satisfy a sexual urge. If you're here reading this, chances are the thought of relinquishing control to another person has piqued your interest or has even gotten your sexual juices flowing, so to speak. Think you're odd?


Don't worry - you're not weird. Far from it, really. In fact becoming sexually submissive is one of the most common sexual fantasies. Just check out these statistics from the Kinsey Institute.

  • 5-10 percent of Americans engages in sadism/masochism (S/M) practices for sexual pleasure at least occasionally.
  • 12 percent of women and 22 percent of men reported erotic response to an S/M story.
  • 55 percent of women and 50 percent of men reported having responded erotically to being bitten.
  • 14 percent of men and 11 percent of women have had some sexual experience with sadomasochism.
  • 11 percent of men and 17 percent of women reported trying bondage. (Learn more about bondage in Why Bondage Can Be So Much Fun.)

Clearly, for many peoples, the fantasy of being ordered around, spanked, and generally coerced to perform sexual acts can seem thrilling. The question for those who haven't actually done it, however, is where to start. And if you want to be a submissive, what do you really need to know? Read on, and find out... 

Educate Yourself
Becoming a submissive is not a decision that should be made lightly. Before you decide to take the plunge and put yourself at the mercy of another, educate yourself on all things submission.

First, some excellent books have been written on the subject of submission and dominance, and there are some very valuable online communities that cater to both veterans and novices. ("The Ultimate Guide to Kink" by Tristan Taormino provides an educated look at the topic, while "SM 101" by Jay Wiseman provides the fundamentals of safe, sane S/M.)

This article was originally published at . Reprinted with permission.
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