People Call Women Who Stay With Bad Boys Stupid But IQ Has Nothing To Do With It ...
Your man should be supportive, he should inspire you, he should be loving, loyal, and treat you with respect. But we all know this intellectually, right? I can't tell you how many women I know who are super smart and successful in their professional life but when it comes to dealing with men, they're a hot mess. Why is that?
Because if deep inside, you don't believe you deserve better, then you will continue to choose guys who take advantage of the power you give your insecurities. You can be a supermodel, an international pop star or the president of the United States and if you're spirit is stuck in vulnerable mode with regards to relationships, you will keep going back to the man who treats you like crap. Period.
So, you know that you two aren't the most emotionally healthy couple on the planet but you have no idea what steps to take to make it better. In fact, many women in this position become addicted to the drama even though it makes them miserable. Trust me, I've been there.
So here's what you do in three simple steps:
1. Get Your Mind Right.
Draw a nice bubble bath. Maybe even pour a glass of wine. Light a candle and be still. Think of everything you like about yourself. Make sure you cover what makes you special from physical to mental, large and small. Do you have nice lips? Are you generous and thoughtful? Are you a great dancer? Stuff like that. List absolutely everything you can think of taking in just how friggin' amazing you are.
Celebrate exactly who you are right now. Mistakes of the past and thoughts of humiliating moments can be brushed away because you're reinventing yourself. You're getting those insecurities in check. Push every other thought out of your head and just enjoy the moment.
Try to get to the point of true meditation where nothing at all is on your mind and you finally get to relax. Do this for at least 20 minutes before going to bed. Do it every day for a week or two before moving on to the next step.
2. Give Yourself Space.
Continue to meditate daily. It's time to start distancing yourself a bit from this guy so you can gain perspective. You don't have to consciously avoid him if you just focus a bit more on your passions and this will occur naturally. You will not be able to answer his texts quite as quickly, for example.
Take up a class on something you've always wanted to learn: Kung Fu? French Cooking? Photography? Go for it. Also, spend more time with the people in your circle who truly adore you and are positive. Limit time with drama queens (or anyone who you feel you have to watch your back around).
3. Break Free.
I could have told you to leave him right away. I didn't because even if you did get up the strength to go, without having a stronger sense of self-worth, you'd end up running right back to him (or someone just like him) eventually. Been there, done that! We always think we can change a guy but it's not our job to change someone else, only to change and grow ourselves.
Oh, you love him? If he's a douche, you don't fully trust him and what is love without trust? Not nearly as deep and beautiful as it can be. When you start dating a guy who treats you like a doormat, it's time to get up off the floor in the first place. You are giving him permission to treat you this way by continuing to be with him.
IMPORTANT: This post is referring to women who are being emotionally abused by their man. I have been in a physically abusive relationship, as well. I tell you from experience that if you also suffer from any physical abuse at all, you need additional support in order to leave the situation safely. You can do this. You deserve it!
Aisha Amore is a coach and creator of Sexy Beast Project. Contact her for information about how to feel sexy, confident and powerful. You are welcome to sign up for free daily affirmations of sexiness here because what woman wouldn’t want fun, motivational blurbs of goodness reminding her everyday?