Take a look at your attitude about dating. How is your dating experience reflecting your attitude?
"In every job there is an element of fun. You find the fun and SNAP! The job's a game and every task you undertake becomes a piece of cake." —Mary Poppins
Mary Poppins' wisdom may sound really corny, but if you think about it, it is true. And if you think a bit further, this can certainly be applied to your dating life. What type of dating experience do you truly want? The kind that stresses you out, where you feel undervalued, unappreciated, or bored...or a dating experience that consistently energizes you? Would you like to meet someone who you cannot wait to spend time with, who appreciates and values you for who you truly and authentically are, and whose values mesh comfortable with yours?
So let's talk about this Mary Poppins idea for a moment. Mary Poppins giving dating tips? And "find the fun"—what does that mean? Dating and relationships are what they are, aren't they? Well let's look at it this way: we each get 168 hours a week to spend. If we sleep 8 hours a night, now we have 112 hours to spend. If we work 40 hours per week, now we have 72 left. If we commute 40 minutes each way to work, now we have 68.5 hours left of our week. How many of those hours are spent searching for "the one" by combing through online profiles, exchanging e-mails with someone we're interested in, talking (hopefully instead of texting) over the phone, going out on dates and spending time with this person, wondering how to make them happy and whether or not they are truly interested? Shouldn't this experience be fun?
Finding the fun in dating is about discovering who you truly are as a person, what the relationship and future you dream about really look like, and what you are willing to do in order to make that happen. It is about discovering what type of person and relationship you would truly grow and thrive in. I have met so many people who, despite having been in the dating scene for a very long time without having found the person they are meant to spend their life with, still remain as optimistic as ever. Why? Because they thrive on the challenges and growth that happen before their eyes as a result of their dating experiences! They are willing to endure the learning curve of mistakes, failed relationships, and divorce to find the person they are meant to spend their lives with.
Discovering that dating is fun is also a large part your attitude. I can tell you that I have been on fantastic dates, and I have been on horrible dates. I've experienced bad relationships, and survived divorce! But what is true for me is that I grew exponentially from every date and relationship, both good and bad. I love meeting new people, getting to know them, and as a result, continuing to get to know myself in the process. These experiences enable me, and hopefully enable you as well, to further connect and align with your genuine, authentic, best self, to discover new ways to appreciate yourself and what you have to offer someone, and to allow your best-self to manifest. I look upon this opportunity as a fun challenge!
Author Carlos Casteneda said: "It takes just as much energy to be miserable as it does to be happy." You choose.
My challenge to you is this: take a survey of your preferences for what you look for in someone. Look at the kinds of relationships you thrive in, the kind of people you enjoy spending time with. Once you discover these aspects of your fun quotient, brainstorm with the positive, open-minded people in your life that you feel have learned the art of possibility thinking. Together, think of as many different ways you can manifest your best self as possible, so that you will be able to further attract the type of person you want to be in a relationship with. Then create with this person the healthy, fulfilling relationship that you want and know you deserve.
Also, take a close look at your attitude about dating and intimate relationships. How are you displaying your attitude? How are you spending your precious time and energy?
I wish you many dates that consist of a large element of FUN!!