Why Codependent Relationships Always Lead To Disaster

Spend time apart so the fun can be everlasting.

Too MUCH TIME Together Can Lead To A DISASTER! Have Balance getty
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When relationships begin, they're fun and exciting. You spend time together doing fun things and when your partner goes home or heads off to work, you get to spend some time on your own reflecting about how much fun you've had. You look forward to seeing each other again with a sense of anticipation and excitement.

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RELATED: 17 Signs You're Codependent (AKA Addicted To Relationships)


All healthy relationships go through periods of highs and lows. When things are running high, everyone's happy. But when things are at a low point, one or both partners may begin to doubt their feelings, especially when your healthy partnership becomes a codependent relationship.

You might start thinking this person might not be right for you because the feelings just aren't there today. Perhaps your partner seems distant and preoccupied and isn't showing the same level of interest in you today as much as he used to before.

Burnout can happen simply because you're both trying to sustain the high-intensity emotions for far too long. It could also mean you're spending all your time in each other's company with no chance to unwind and enjoy that sense of anticipation until you see each other again.

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Many people are guilty of this early in a relationship. They forget to socialize with other friends. They give up their usual hobbies and interests so they can spend more time with their new-found love. While it's fun at first, it can also lead to feeling unfulfilled in other areas of your life.


RELATED: What It's Really Like To Be In A Codependent Marriage


Just because you're in a relationship, it's unrealistic to expect every other area of your life to stop. You also can't expect your partner to give up friends, hobbies or interests they had before they met you, unless they're detrimental to the relationship.

Nobody can feel ecstatically blissful 100 percent of the time, 24/7. It's exhausting. So when those lulls or low-patches happen, don't take it personally. They're often a sign that you may need to spend some time doing something fun for yourself and re-energize that independent streak within you.

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Not only will it give you and your partner time to miss each other, but you'll both be doing things you enjoy, which gives you something fun to talk about when you do see each other again.

Trying to beg your partner for an answer about why he or she is being distant today is likely to push them further away instead of bringing them closer. Everyone needs a little time alone to recharge and think, so allow your partner the courtesy of a little time when they need it to avoid falling into a codependent relationship.

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RELATED: What It Really Means When Someone Says You're 'Codependent' (And Why It's B.S.)


Aaron Kaplan is a Coach Training Alliance-Certified Coach (CTA-CC), Certified Prepare-Enrich Facilitator, and CDC Certified Divorce Coach, who also happens to be an ordained member of the clergy.