Hi, I'm Robyn Wahlgast of New Direction Dating. I am a Rules Certified Dating and Relationship Coach, and have been coaching women for 10+ years. I am also a happily married mom. My clients are smart women who are looking for a lasting relationship that leads to commitment and marriage. My specialty is helping women date with healthy boundaries, and is grounded in behavior modeling from the book The Rules. Although I am based in the Kansas City, KS, area, my clients are located across the US and around the globe. Having spent most of my single years in New York City, I have special insights on big-city dating, and women from L.A. to London follow my dating advice. Because my family and I have since relocated to the Midwest, I have also become a Heartland dating expert, helping women with the special challenges of dating in rural communities as well.
“Robyn is a great dating coach and a great thinker.
She brings a new perspective to dating, relationships, and The Rules.”
—Ellen Fein, co-author, The Rules
Why would I need a "coach" for dating?
It is very difficult to change old patterns and adopt new, healthier behaviors. While friends and family may want to support us, they don't always know how. Maybe some aspect of your behavior or attitude is unintentionally driving good guys out of your life, but your friends feel it's kinder to say "you're perfect just as you are" or "the right man will love you as is."
Your friends are right: You are perfect and deserving of love. But you may not yet know how to reveal the best version of yourself on dates and in romantic relationships. This is where an experienced coach can guide you in the right direction and support you through challenging situations. Good coaching helps you make important shifts in how you attract and relate to men — without altering who you are. Be yourself, only better.
I look forward to hearing your story!
The Reason I Became A Helping Professional
I've spent almost 20 years studying dating and relationship Rules, and 10 years empowering women to date with healthy boundaries. A woman in love can easily get caught up in details — Would he like me better as a blonde? How can I give him unforgettable sex? — and lose sight of the big picture: He is disrespectful toward me; He doesn’t truly love me. Magazines and dating experts are constantly telling us to “maintain healthy boundaries” with men. But what does that actually look like? Are there boundaries that you should be enforcing that you’re not even aware of? And are you walking the talk, or do men see right away that you don’t really expect them to treat you like the unique and precious being that you are.
The Rules provide us with simple behavior modeling. Eventually, the behaviors become second nature and you're no longer "doing The Rules" — you're just relaxed, confident, and receptive only to healthy love.
Why do smart women need dating and relationship rules? Because we over-think relationships and men. That “washing machine” of worry in your head can finally quiet down when you know exactly which rules work for you and reveal the best version of yourself in relationships and in life.
The Rules will fully charge your "healthy relationship" radar, to help point you in the right direction in any situation. Over time, with daily practice, The Rules can help you train your heart to respond only to men who make you feel safe and sound, and to instinctively reject a hot-and-cold, emotional roller-coaster.
Why do men marry Rules Girls? Because we relate to men in a way they truly desire. And because following the right rules ensures that men respect you from the very first hello. Most importantly, The Rules show us how to create a healthy dynamic in dating that will then carry over into marriage. It's a foundation of mutual respect. In a healthy relationship, you feel that you are enough, just as you are; your partner isn't going to reject you just because you've gained a little weight, lost your job, or become ill. When life gets tough, you know you have each others' backs. That is a Rules marriage.
Aren’t rules made to be broken? Not if they reflect your authentic self — that beautiful, fiery essence inside every woman — and allow you to be relaxed, confident, and sexy with men. You really can use 'The Rules' in a way that is authentic and emotionally nourishing.
Maintaining healthy boundaries in your relationships is a life choice. If you're just "playing games" you may turn off the very men you wish to attract. I believe that you must always be authentic and real to attract healthy love, and I incorporate many complementary strategies into my approach. Don't give up—over time, any woman can put healthy boundaries in place in every part of her life.
Hi, I'm Robyn. I am happily married with 3 wonderful children. I'm also a late-bloomer. All the questions above are ones that I struggled with personally when I was single. After many years spent in a corporate career, I looked around and realized that if I didn't make a major change in my life, I would never have the one thing I truly desired: a wonderful husband and a family of my own.
I spent years re-learning how to date and relate to men. I discovered that I had been going about it all wrong, and that if I just made some small adjustments to my own approach and attitude, I could get the results I wanted. I am so excited to be able to share this knowledge with other women, so that they, too, can enjoy a satisfying love life.
If you are a woman between the ages of 25 through 65+ I can help you date for marriage and lasting love. Aside from caring for my family, nothing gives me greater pleasure than helping my clients find the love they deserve.
I look forward to hearing your story!
With warmest wishes,
"When my husband left me two years ago I was completely shellshocked. I had absolutely no idea how to date. I made every mistake you can make in that first year. I was desperately lonely, insecure, and eager to please. I scared away every normal man in my orbit, and attracted a fair number of gold diggers. THANK YOU for lifting me out of that rut and setting me on the right path. I like how you redid my eHarmony and match.com profiles. I am attracting much higher quality men, and I no longer feel desperate or nervous. Things are even better with my ex! His head games don’t bother me, and I can tell he has more respect for the "new me" that he can’t manipulate. Thank you!!!"
—Carla in Hilton Head, SC (age 62)
[Update: Carla is currently engaged and their destination wedding is planned for January 2015.]
“When I first wrote to you I'd given up on online dating—I wasn't meeting decent guys. My current guy and I have been dating for 4 months. He has said he loves me, and he brings up marriage all the time. I am letting him lead, and because I’m not insecure and pestering him all the time about “how does he feel” or “where is this going”, etc., I know he is really happy, too.”
—Ashley in West Hollywood, CA (age 38)
—Véronique in Sarasota, FL (age 35)
|Time in Practice||10 years +|
|I practice in||Multiple states/provinces, please inquire|
|Additional Expertise||Relationship Coach|
|I offer my services||At my office|
Via a webcam
Other, please inquire
|I am fluent in||English|
How long should I wait to respond to his text message? Can I ...