Woman's Husband Tells Her That He's 'Uncomfortable' That She Burps Around Him — 'It Feels Like I Can't Be My True-Self With Him'
Is it appropriate to pass gas in front of your partner, or should boundaries be set?
Some women may swear that they don’t fart, but many of them sure do burp loud and proud, even in front of their romantic partners. Many couples hail it as a milestone when one finally burps in front of the other, as they have established a new level of closeness and sense of comfort between each other.
However, for some people, it is a major turn-off, no matter how long they have been with their significant other, and they have no problem letting them know about their disgust.
One woman revealed how her burping has interfered with her marriage. Now, she fears that she will never be able to be her true self around her husband.
The woman’s husband told her that her burping in his presence makes him ‘uncomfortable.’
Writing to the subreddit, r/AmITheA–-hole, the 30-year-old woman asked other Redditors if she was in the wrong for burping in front of her husband, whom she claims to have known since high school and been married to for a year.
Recently, her husband disclosed to her that he finds her burping habit unpleasant and that it makes him “uncomfortable.” While the woman admits that she lets out the occasional belch in front of her husband, it is usually within the privacy of their own home.
“I’m not a slob,” she wrote. “I quietly burp and cover myself when in public, but my husband is my safe space, and felt like I could be myself and not worry about being judged or feeling uncomfortable.”
The woman’s husband argues that she has become “too comfortable” with him and that there should be boundaries when it comes to exposing certain bodily functions.
“I understand he feels uncomfortable but I also can’t help but feel hurt at the fact that it feels like I can’t be my true self with him,” she wrote, adding that she always says “excuse me” after releasing a burp, as it is “in her nature” to be polite. “I’ve known this man for a long time and am now married to him.”
Photo: Emily frost / Shutterstock
The woman’s marriage hurdle sparked a discussion about whether or not it is appropriate to pass gas in front of your partner.
Some people believed that there was no harm in couples burping around one another, as it is a normal bodily function that happens from time to time. “If he can't handle your burping, how will he handle it when you get sick, or if you need to be cared for when you get older?” one user questioned.
Others shared that they often burp and fart in front of their partners and that it only adds comfort to the relationship. However, other people admitted that like the woman’s husband, they did not exactly approve of their partners belching in their presence.
“Some people hate burps. They gross me out. I wish my husband would close his mouth when he burps,” one person shared. “Our loved ones don't deserve less consideration than the general public, they deserve more,” another user wrote. “I think especially when the spouse has expressed his feelings, it shouldn’t be too much to not burp in front of him.”
It is true that burping is a normal (even healthy) process that allows your body to rid of excess air. In fact, a 2020 review found that the average person burps up to 30 times a day, and it can happen anytime, anywhere, even in front of a partner.
It is also true that people may have certain boundaries that should be respected when it comes to relationships, one of them possibly being refraining from passing gas in front of one another. It is important that couples communicate these boundaries should they need to be established.
Photo: Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock
"Ideally, you want to be able to push the margins and be completely comfortable and open with your partner, so that you could potentially keep the bathroom door open, go without makeup, belch, etc.,” Jane Greer, a family and marriage therapist, told The Detriot Free Press. “But if that's the rule of thumb (all the) time, it can become a turn-off.”
As humans, we are bound to accidentally let a burp slip, have morning breath, and even wet our pants during desperate times in front of the people we love. Accidents happen and that’s okay.
However, what’s not okay is repeatedly crossing our partner’s boundaries by continuing to engage in behaviors that they have made clear that there is a different time and place for.
Even if the woman may feel as if she cannot “be herself” in her own home, she must remember that she shares the same house with her husband who is uncomfortable with her actions.
"Being yourself also includes consideration for the other person and showing them the best of you, in addition to the worst of you," Greer added. "You want your partner to feel that they are the most important person in your life — not the least."
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.