Bride Asks If It's Selfish To Use A 'First Dance' Song At Her Wedding That Her Stepsister Has A Special Connection To
Her stepsister asked her to change the song.
A bride is receiving backlash after upsetting her stepsister with the choice of song she wants to use during her wedding ceremony.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — she explained that for her wedding, she wanted to use a song that had a special meaning to her stepsister.
The bride refused to change her 'first dance' song after her stepsister asked her to.
In her Reddit post, the bride wrote that for the first dance at her wedding with her husband, she chose the song "Come What May" from the 2001 film "Moulin Rouge!"
When she informed her stepsister about the song, she was taken aback to learn that her stepsister wasn't excited about using the song in her wedding because she has a special connection to it. Her stepsister had danced to that same song at her own wedding with her ex-husband, and a few months after they were married, he was involved in a serious car accident that left him with a traumatic brain injury.
"He thankfully survived but lives in a specialized nursing home," the bride explained. "They did get divorced but my sister still goes on about how she loves him and visits him occasionally."
While he doesn't remember his wife, her stepsister still visits him at the nursing home and will sing "Come What May" to him.
"My sister said she apparently sang this song to him and he 'looks like he remembers her.'"
Her stepsister sees the song as something meaningful to her and her ex-husband and said they had both watched "Moulin Rouge!" on their first date at the movies. The song also played at a restaurant the two had gone to, which they took "as a sign." As a result, she asked the bride to change the song to something else.
"I told her I get it but this is what we want, and I don't want to change it. She said she understood but she's been acting different around me and I could tell she was mad [and] upset."
While most of the bride's friends and family don't think she's in the wrong, one of her friends called her selfish for not simply changing the song for the sake of her stepsister.
"I think it's a really nice song and I'd like to play it too, I don't want to have to change it," she concluded.
Most Reddit users agreed that she was in the wrong for refusing to change her 'first dance' song.
"You have zero attachment to a song that symbolizes your step-sister's love!" one user pointed out.
"The fact that it's the only thing that gets the love of her life to even remember her makes it so much worse! You heard it at HER wedding as HER first dance song and decided to copy it."
Another user agreed, writing, "Why would you want to use the song of a divorced couple that you know? You [said] yourself the song isn't actually important to you, but you outline how it is to her. This is weird."
"Whatever makes you want to hurt your sister like this ... is it really worth it? What has she done to you that you want to take revenge on her on your wedding day?" a third user questioned.
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics.