Woman Wonders If She's Wrong For Feeling Uneasy After A Waiter Called Her 4-Year-Old Daughter 'Beautiful' & Gave Her Free Cake
Some believe he may have just been giving the little girl a compliment, while others called his behavior "creepy."
Nicoleta Ionescu / Drazen Zigic / Shutterstock After a mother and her four-year-old daughter sat down at a restaurant, a waiter took a particular liking to the little girl. He made several remarks and gestures toward her that may have been with kind intentions, but left her mother feeling uncomfortable.
Now, the mom is asking others if her feelings are valid and if she was wrong for making her daughter acknowledge him.
A waiter approached a woman and her daughter, calling the little girl ‘beautiful’ and giving her a complimentary piece of cake.
Sharing her story to the subreddit, r/AmITheA-–hole, the 35-year-old mother reveals that she recently took her four-year-old daughter to eat at a family-style restaurant that they have been to numerous times before.
The woman describes her child as “very gregarious” and often chats with everyone she meets, including adults. However, some adults are uncomfortable talking with such a young child and often look at or address the woman for reassurance.
Photo: BlueOrange Studio / Shutterstock
As the two were waiting for their table, the woman’s daughter began a conversation with an older man picking up a take-out order.
“While being very nice to her and polite, he was clearly a bit uncomfortable and kept addressing me instead of her and almost looking to me for reassurance that it was okay to talk to her,” the woman wrote. “I think he handled it really well and I was more than happy for them to be talking.”
After the woman and her daughter were seated, the woman noticed one of the waiters looking toward their table and smiling at her daughter. “I was proud as she’d clearly made a bit of an impression on a few of the staff as it was quiet and she’d been pretty funny,” she wrote.
However, when the waiter brought their food to their table, he began speaking to the little girl and did not acknowledge her mother.
“[He] said directly to her ‘Do you know you are really beautiful?’” the woman revealed. “She was looking at a game she was playing on my phone at the time and didn’t look up or respond so he said it again.”
This time, the woman told her daughter to say thank you to the waiter.
She added that the waiter later returned to the table with a free slice of cake for her daughter, telling her that it was their “little secret” and not to tell her mother. However, afterward, the woman was left feeling uneasy for numerous reasons.
The woman believed the waiter’s words and actions to be predatory.
“I didn’t like his tone or the look on his face, I’ve seen it before in my 35 years on this planet as a woman,” she shared. “It’s one thing to compliment a child on their behavior or something but I found his word choice ‘beautiful’ inappropriate… I feel like I witnessed the first time my daughter was noticed by a creep.”
The mother asked if she is wrong for feeling creeped out by the waiter’s behavior and if she should have not forced her daughter to acknowledge him in the first place, adding that her daughter’s father believes she should report the waiter to the restaurant manager.
Many people agreed with the woman that the waiter’s behavior toward her daughter was unsettling.
“Yes, he sounds like a creep… Also, our little secret from mommy is grooming a kid for abuse,” one Redditor commented.
“People deal with children in different ways, but even jokingly telling a child not to tell their parents something is a massive alarm bell,” another user wrote. “Aside from the inherent creepiness, he shouldn’t be putting something in front of your child without permission — the more appropriate thing to do would have been to ask you ‘Can she have a cake?’ first.”
“Speaking directly to your child and not you is incredibly rude and highly inappropriate,” another user added.
Some believed that the waiter was simply trying to be friendly toward the little girl.
“His behavior was questionable, but not every awkward idiot out there is a child molester. Some time ago 'beautiful' was considered a good compliment for a girl and cake a good present,” one user commented.
“You feel it’s alright for your daughter to continue to bother a strange man waiting for his take out and you find it cute, even though you knew the man was uncomfortable. Yet, when a waiter who is there to be friendly (and who may have a grandchild of his own) speaks to your child, you find it creepy?!” another user noted.
Other users pointed out that older generations may speak and act toward children in a different manner than they are used to due to vastly different upbringings and growing up in different time periods where actions that are considered appropriate then are not today.
While it is unconfirmed what the waiter’s true intentions may have been, it is inappropriate to ask children to “keep a secret” from their parents, especially if they are sitting right across from them.
If you wish to speak with a child, it is appropriate to acknowledge and ask their parents before doing so.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.