Mom Apologizes To Daughter Years Later For The Way She Brushed Her Hair During Childhood
Her honest admission proves that parents apologizing to their children can have a positive impact.
A mom is being praised after admitting to her daughter the one thing she did to her when she was a child that she now regrets. In a TikTok video, the Beaver family, a mom, dad, and daughter from Fayetteville, North Carolina who often make content about their lives on the video-sharing platform, sparked a healthy discussion about the importance of parents apologizing to their children.
She apologized to her daughter years later for the way she brushed her hair when she was a kid.
In the video, Emily Beaver was filming her mother, Amy, who, while brushing her own hair, suddenly apologized for the way that she had brushed Emily's hair when she was a child.
"I know how you felt when I brushed your hair, and I'm really sorry I would get mad at you for screaming," Amy told Emily after her daughter joked that Amy now knew how she felt whenever the tangles from her hair were being brushed out when she was a kid.
Amy acknowledged that the sound of Emily screaming whenever her hair was being detangled would often trigger her to become mad, though she was only ever mad at herself but would sometimes take that anger out on Emily, which she pointed out wasn't fair at all.
"I really owe you, like, 1,000 apologies for the way I brushed your hair," Amy continued. "I just always felt like a failure as a parent when I was brushing your hair, and then I just made it worse by getting mad at you. Bad parenting moments."
Amy's apology to her daughter shows the impact that parents can have by acknowledging their children's trauma.
Amy and Emilly's video caught the attention of Dr. Nicole LePera, a psychologist, who shared the clip on her Instagram feed where she called the exchange a "healing" moment between a mother and daughter.
"Seeing a parent willing to be vulnerable, to take ownership, and to speak to the truth around their behavior is something few adult children receive. The empathy here is profound," LePara wrote in the caption of the video on her page.
Being a parent is a difficult journey, and while a mother and father can have pure intentions, sometimes it's inevitable that a parenting technique used on a child will leave negative effects that follow them into adulthood and end up being a childhood trauma. By acknowledging and owning up to these mistakes, a relationship between a child and parent can only strengthen, as opposed to brushing it under the rug and refusing to apologize.
An apology is a step towards rebuilding that trust.
It demonstrates that parents take responsibility for their actions and are committed to making amends. While it may seem insignificant for a mom to apologize for the way she brushed her daughter's hair, Amy is able to recognize the emotions and distress that may have impacted her daughter while experiencing getting her hair detangled.
Even Amy's admission that she felt like a "failure as a parent" is her honest reflection that many parents may not be ready to share, and is a brave acceptance of vulnerability that should come with parenthood. It's a reminder that parents are human and make mistakes, just like their children.
"May all children know they were never the problem," LePera insisted. "May all parents know by apologizing you heal the wounds. May future generations learn new ways to cope with anger and frustration."
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.