Man Texts Wife's Boss To Complain That She's Being Overworked & Now He Can’t Understand Why She's Mad At Him
That wasn't his place.
A man is being called "controlling" after deciding to contact his wife's boss after noticing the toll her job has taken on her.
Posting to the subreddit "r/AmItheA--hole" (AITA) — a forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument that has been bothering them — he explained that he was only trying to help his wife, but it all seemed to backfire on him.
In his Reddit post, the man wrote that his wife has been working "10-14 hour days chained to her computer for the past 2-3 weeks through weekends as well."
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He asks if he's wrong for confronting his wife's boss about how 'overworked' she is.
The man clarified that for the past few weeks, his wife has put over 100 hours into her job, has lost multiple weekends, and even had to work through vacations.
He even recalled her having to work through the holidays as well.
"She’s been screaming obscenities about her job, how she wants to quit, how it’s ridiculous she’s working so hard without any break. There have been multiple tear-filled days," he wrote.
During his wife's outbursts about not enjoying her job, he has been trying to help around the house to help lessen her stress, but admitted that he "walks on eggshells," waiting for "an explosion."
While his wife was working one day, he noticed that she was becoming agitated once more, screaming about her coworkers "screwing her over."
That's when he decided to take matters into his own hands.
He explained that he texted his wife's boss, who he also works under as the two of them have a job at the same company, and confronted him about his wife being overworked.
"[I] said there are limits for human beings [and] this kind of thing can’t happen again next year," he explained. "He agreed and said he’d try to help."
When his wife's boss reached out to her about limiting her workload, he mentioned that her husband had alerted him to her feeling overworked, which angered her.
She accused her husband of being "misogynistic" when he chose to message her boss that she wasn't able to handle her job.
"[She said] she can’t ever trust me anymore to talk about work or how she’s feeling. Generally threw me in the doghouse."
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Most people who commented on the man's Reddit post agreed that he was in the wrong for reaching out to his wife's boss.
"I don't know what field your wife works in, but women often have to fight a lot harder for promotions and raises than men do," one user wrote.
"What you did is essentially tell her boss that she cannot handle the workload and it's not your place to do that even a little bit."
Another user added, "Getting in touch with her boss like that sends so many implicit messages that your wife is unable to express or stand up for herself that it is likely to be extremely embarrassing at the very least and career-damaging at the worst."
"That is completely inappropriate and over the line. She clearly values her job and wants to do a good job, despite being stressed out," a third user chimed in.
"Regardless of your intentions, management is now going to possibly assume she can’t handle her job and needs her husband to fight her battles for her. You owe her a huge apology."
Nia Tipton is a writer living in Brooklyn. She covers pop culture, social justice issues, and trending topics. Keep up with her on Instagram and Twitter.