I'll be perfectly honest; I have no head for innuendo. Outside of being a terrific actor, I'd make a terrible spy. Double-meanings, inference and subtlety are like foreign languages to me. More like alien words, because no amount of pantomime or body language (lingua frankly) is going to get the point across.

My social retardation (or is it retardance?) probably isn't a total aberration. I'm guessing lots of dudes (and probably a few chicks) are deaf, dumb, blind kids when it comes to romantic intrigue. Are we missing an enzyme? Are we sort of autistic? Should we be counting cards … Read More

You ever been smacked in the face with the perfect solution to a nearly intractable problem? And when the smacking recedes, the red mark on your face is one of disappointment in yourself? And the handprint on that red mark has the word "duh" written in hieroglyphics?
Science has just goon-handed the lot of us across the kisser with this tasty little treat: male fertility can be increased by up to 26% by ejaculating daily (rather 26% of sperm damage can be decreased by b-ing an l on the nightly tip). Per LittleAbout.com, motility (whose lack is … Read More

The year is halfway over (really it's halfway over on the 2nd of July, but who gives a Fraggle*?) and you are desperately behind on your New Year's resolutions. Your swimwear body still makes you uncomfortable (it's OK, I think you're beautiful), you have yet to tackle the collected works of Dostoevsky (it's OK, Crime And Punishment kicked my ass too) and your kitchen has yet to remodel itself (it's OK, you're not going to be able to sell your place for a decent price in this economy anyway). Nonetheless, looking back at the grand idealism that is January … Read More

You know what's a real bummer? When the economy is depressed and the only fiscal Prozac we've been prescribed is time-released, baby (Did you only an estimated 11% of the "Stimulus" dollars will be disbursed in 2009, per the Congressional Budget Office?). But, we're humans so we do what men and Muppets do best: persevere. We take joy (not just solace) in small pleasures and learn from the situation (note: savings have increased over the last year and spending actually increased in May 2009, hopefully a portent of good things). But, for now, we have to make romance on … Read More

No one ever said marriage (or even a wedding) is easy. It takes lots of hard work and, per Patty Smyth, "sometimes love just ain't enough.” So, you're here and you may as well give it your best shot but when it's over the best thing to do is be realistic and cut your losses.

Sometimes, a marriage lasts less than one day before everyone realizes that it's just not working. Per our buddies over at Lemondrop, that very thing happened to a Polish couple living in Germany (please imagine that I made a Polack joke so we can … Read More

Stop me if you've heard this one before. Here goes, there's a very charming governor. And one day, this man (an up-and-comer in his political party) decides to stray from his wife. Things were swimming right along and BAM he up and gets caught. This time around there were no hookers involved (nor any Arkansas highway patrolmen). There was just a guy who ditched his security detail, made up some cockamamie story about hiking, forgot to transfer power to his Lieutenant Governor and took the express train* to Argentina.

As you likely know, this guy's name is Mark Sanford. He's … Read More

Some days you roll out of bed and have dozens of dynamite ideas for articles. And some days you roll out of bed and are so bitterly disappointed in Team USA soccer that you really can't really imagine how anything in world matters enough to write about it. But you're a professional and little things like Team USA soccer blowing a 2 – 0 halftime lead aren't supposed to affect your work. Meh! That being said, I really didn't have enough in the tank for a regular post this morning, instead you get links.

First up, Asylum put … Read More

Hookers, lady hookers, have been getting plenty of media obsession run since… ever. But particularly since a young, firebrand governor in need of some comeuppance (and companionship) was caught spending bootloads of the family fortune on a particular female escort (oh that's right, his name is Eliot Spitzer and hers, Ashley Dupre).

Since then, we've (the media, I guess I'm one of those weasels) had all sorts of love for hos (sorry, Snoop). In addition to covering anything and everything money-for-sex-related, we (rather Showtime) delved deep into the world of hump-hump for ching-ching with Secret Diary Of A … Read More

Our rivals, friends and sometimes lovers over at Lemondrop have a very interesting take on what a guy's porn tastes say about his personality and predilections. The gist (heh) is that a dude's interest in porn (if he has one, I think the assumption that all men interested in sex are into porn is a bit overblown) generally has a subtler message than you'd guess. The whole thing is metaphor. A dude who likes watching the rough stuff (leather, handcuffs, really mean women, et cetera) may not really want an Amazon to literally step on his junk.

Being 100% objective, I would say that the dating boot camp hosted by Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal was the greatest thing that ever happened to Earth (and the second greatest thing to ever happen to women… hi-ooooooo). Most hyperbole aside, the events went off quite well and left oodles of women pleased as punch (or as informed as Athena*). Read: Recap: Dating Boot Camp & The Man Panel: Part 1