In order to avoid facing major change head on (like that breakup you know needs to happen), it's super common for people to create passive-aggressive diversions, distractions, and conflict to hint to their "significant other" that: Sorry, sweetie—you're just not that significant anymore.
Marriage is a serious institution, not to be entered into lightly...but that doesn't mean we can't make fun of it from time to time! And who does it better than the celebs in our favorite movies? Check out these hysterical sayings on marriage from films.
According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, last year the typical American made more than the year before. Not bad considering the economy isn’t where it was a decade ago. At $41,392 a year, that average yearly salary is up a whole 1.7 percent from just last year, which, of course gives us hope for the next year and the years that follow.
Whenever I watch Pride and Prejudice I think about how boring it must have been to live back then. Granted, they had all those balls and Dr. Darcy was a total fox, but when it came to sucking up all the hours in the day, I just don’t know how they did it. I know there was a lot of book reading, piano playing, and walking in circles in doors, for reasons I’ll never be able to understand, but what else? To get to the point, how did people survive before technology? As I type this with one hand and tweet my pondering on my phone with my other while watching TV and burning a DVD all at once, I really just don’t know how they did it. Magic, I suppose.
Starting WHEN, Tinder plans to roll out Tinder Plus subscriptions for $9.99 a month. With the subscription, you can have an unlimited amount of "likes" (which were prevously free), you can undo swipes (which is great for us drunk swipers), and interact with people who are outside your zipcode.
People often refer to Congress and politics in general as Hollywood for ugly people. That's mostly true. Most politicians, at least on the inside, are hideous (and the ones who aren't will be soon enough once they get the hang of things). Additionally, many politicians have really bad, albeit expensive, haircuts. But in order to get elected, politicians have to be attractive somehow, even if they're faking it (which they probably are, and again, if they're not, they will be soon enough).
As a humor writer, I try to write about everything.It's basically all that I know how to do. But the thing about writing humor is that it sometimes makes me feel like I'm hiding behind a mask and pretending I'm something I'm not. Now, don't get me wrong; I'm a person who loves to laugh -- and who loves to make other people laugh even more -- but most of the time, that's not me, or at least that's not how I feel. But it's hard to ignore what goes on in my head and even harder to write about depression. For one, there's the fear that writing about it makes you look weak and turns people off because it's not funny or light. Most people have their own problems, so why would they read about mine? The other trouble is that it is often incredibly difficult to articulate just how I feel. Deep depression is hard to understand, especially if you've never been there. It has manageable days that for me usually include writing something I don't hate or spending time outside. In other words, I function and appear to be fine.
In my attempts to theorize consent, I sometimes think of it in terms of metaphors and stories (see my joking “tangerine consent” post for an example of this). Along those same lines, I began wondering: what if we thought of sexual consent in the same terms that we think of food? Ponder these scenarios: A woman is really tipsy, and someone who’s talking to her reaches toward her mouth with a piece of food in hand, as though about to begin feeding her. The conversation has not been on food, and she’s not given any indication that she’s hungry. A man is napping, and someone comes up to him and begins to work open his mouth with their fingers so a morsel of food can be inserted. A couple is arguing. One person grabs the other and forces a piece of candy in their mouth.
Dear Chin Hair, Where the hell did you come from? I certainly didn’t invite you, nor did I tell you to take up residence on my chin. Granted, I’ve noticed you other random places, but figured you were a one-time visitor and wouldn’t return because the accommodations are poor and the Yelp! reviews are less than glowing. But now you’ve decided to visit my face? Not cool. Not cool at all. At first I thought it was a mistake; a result of poor lighting in my Volkswagen, Dieter. I noticed you in the rearview mirror and suspected you were just a scratch on the mirror. But no. If only… I’ve only recently tried to evict you, but you’ve proven a formidable opponent. You’re strong and stubborn and coarse and much firmer than I would have expected. Forgive me for being so stern. I realize you’d like a nice place to call home, but that home can’t be my chin. It just can’t. Yes. I realize you’re threatening to migrate other places if I evict you, but I won’t be bullied. You won’t be allowed to stay. Not at all. "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin."
There’s always going to be a day when you’re a little down on yourself. Maybe things didn’t go well for you at work, or you’re not feeling your best, or life just isn’t going your way. And trust me—I know how much that sucks. When this happens, don’t let that little doubtful voice in your head take over. If your loved ones had a bad day, you’d try to lift them up, wouldn’t you?