3 Things You Must Teach Your Son To Raise A Confident Man

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how to teach your son about self-confidence
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It's about helping him realize his personal value.

By Jessica Doyle

It is easy to assume our children will have self-confidence if we believe we are raising them in the best possible way. However, there are times when we might notice that they need an extra boost of encouragement. As adults, we are commonly working on our inner self-talk or learning how to have more patience or be better than we were the day before. It is a good idea, too, to talk to our kids about these same principles while they’re young.

"The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice." ―Peggy O’Mara

"Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama." ―Miguel Ruiz

Living a vibrant life requires a healthy sense of self-confidence.

Low self-confidence can become a detriment. If not encouraged as a child, some adults grow to believe there is no use in finding a productive purpose to their life. Once one is not productive, self-esteem may fall. Low self-esteem is promoted opaquely in society. In fact, it is taught—mostly unknowingly. Rise and see it. Be aware—and then move beyond it.

Make time to encourage your son, and help him to find his personal value. Let him know it is good to believe in our abilities. 

People often feel weak in confidence if they are not as appreciated as they should be. Thus, start by recognizing your son fully. Just begin. Encouragement is very helpful compared to criticism.

1. Teach compassion.


If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. —Dalai Lama

Through various forms of media, we might learn different things about other people. It is important to focus on a lens of compassion when understanding others and even ourselves. Teach your son that compassion is always an available option. Instead of judging others, teach him to be kind.
Teach your son not to take things personally. I have gone over The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, with my children for a few years now and I find it is helpful to remind them of the agreements every so often. They are: 

Be impeccable with your word. 

  • Do not take anything personally. 
  • Do not make assumptions. 
  • Always do your best. 

Not to take anything personally resonates with them—I make sure to remind them of that.

RELATED: The One Surprising Word That IGNITES Your Child's Confidence

2. Teach your son about his inner wisdom.

Practice listening to your intuition, your inner voice; ask questions; be curious; see what you see; hear what you hear; and then act upon what you know to be true. These intuitive powers were given to your soul at birth. ―Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Being able to understand our minds is one of the most important concepts for a human to know. Once a person realizes that he can control what he thinks, he learns that he can control himself however he chooses. We are all strong inside—and we all have more power than we realize. Begin to teach him how to understand his inner self now—help him to see how wonderful it is to be able to become in touch with his inner self and voice.
Teach your son to trust his intuition. Teaching our kids to listen to their intuitive experiences—even in the smallest form while they are young—will help their future selves. Intuition becomes increasingly valuable in the new information society precisely because there is so much data. —John Naisbitt

3. Teach your son about differences in others.

Non-judgment quiets the internal dialogue, and this opens once again the doorway to creativity. ―Deepak Chopra

Let him know that we are all different—everyone is unique. If we look to the uniqueness of each person, we will enjoy the presence of the individual even more. It is important to let him know that we all have different abilities and strengths—and there is not one way to do things—but, rather, many ways.

Self-confidence is an ongoing pursuit. A healthy feeling of self-esteem, with an understanding of the inner self will only ensure more thoughtful people in the world as we move forward.

This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.