Photo: O. Kalacheva/ Shutterstock
Things are going to change as you get older, including how you view life.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Last updated on Apr 30, 2023
Now that I’m approaching 30, I’m starting to realize that a lot of the ways I react to things are changing.
A night out at the club, for example, doesn’t hold the same amount of excitement that it once did.
I used to squeal with excitement, get all dressed up, and go there regardless of what else was going on. Nowadays, you’ll be lucky if you see me go there in my work clothes without a single touch of style added to me.
Similarly, the way that I express happiness and feel happiness also seems to change.
In fact, the other day, I realized that the way I’m experiencing a lot of emotions has begun to change drastically. If you’re like most others who age, you’ll probably notice how emotions change and become very different as you get older.
Here are 7 emotions that drastically evolve the older you get:
1. Your happiness is focused on what you already have, not experiencing "thrills"
Back in the day, happiness usually meant some sort of climax after a crazy adventure, like the kind of thrill you’d get going on safari, hitting an underground party, or even just getting hammered with friends. These days, I noticed it’s more of a relief, like that feeling of bliss you get when you are in your bathtub after a hard day’s work.
There, I’m happy and reflecting on what I’ve accomplished, rather than where I’m going. So in a way, it’s happiness that’s focused on enjoying what I already have rather than what I will have. It’s a mellower, more authentic happiness rather than the “thrill high” I used to get as a teen.
2. Love becomes less passionate and more caring
I don’t get butterflies in my stomach or warm fuzzies as much as I used to. Nowadays, love is a lot more like a caring, comforting hug than something more fiery. It’s a more content kind of familiarity.
Moreover, your understanding of love will also change, as will the kinds of things you look for in a partner. I’m not looking for a “Mr. Hot” as much as I am looking for a companion and partner and to a point, I think that explains my shift in love.
3. You stop experiencing anxiety over what other people think of you
I used to get anxious over people not liking me back when I was younger. It was crippling and actually drove most of my decisions. It was the stem of everything I worried about and to a point, I was always about going somewhere and being on the move.
Sometime around six months ago, that suddenly gave way. I got the f*ck-its, and somehow, my anxiety shifted toward money. At the very least, it’s nice not worrying about what people who don’t matter think of you.
4. You come to accept that being single has its perks
I used to be very lonely and to a point, I think I still am. However, there’s a big difference that happens the older you get while single. The longer you stay single, the less being with someone matters. You’ll still want a husband, but you’ll end up putting in less and less effort.
Why? Because you’re used to the way life is now and actually finding someone could wreck your routine. Chances are high I’ll end up marrying a single friend, should things not improve.
5. You start feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin, instead of how people *think* you should see yourself
Oh, this is definitely something that I see with a lot of women in particular. Though there are exceptions to every case, I’ve noticed that confidence seems to be something a lot of women get with age.
They stop wanting to put up with the BS of trying to please everyone, they start feeling comfortable in their skin, and they generally just get pushed to the point where they know where they want. In your early 20s, it’s hard to be that way primarily because everyone is telling you who you should be rather than letting you do it on your own.
6. Boredom becomes a good thing
When I was 18, boredom meant that I wasn’t lighting something on fire or hitting a rave. It was so easy to get bored. Boredom was a mind-killer for me, and I just needed adventure in order to live.
Though I haven’t totally given up my partying ways, the truth is that it just gets harder to be bored when you get older. This is partly because you’re working so much more often and because something in you just stops caring about being crazy all the time. It also changes because what makes you happy changes, too.
7. You have less sympathy for people who don't deserve it
I don’t know if it’s just me or not, but a lot of the sympathy I had for others has vanished the older I got. As I got older, I noticed most people end up in situations that they don’t want because of a mistake on their end.
For example, when I look at a man who married a woman who refuses to work and demands to be a trophy wife, I can’t feel bad for him. It was his choice to marry her. When I look at a person who is perennially unemployed and turns down a grocery store job because “it’s beneath him,” I can’t feel sympathetic to them. I still feel bad for people who have had genuine tragedy befall them, but nowadays, it’s a much more skeptical kind of sympathy.
What’s weird about how emotions change is that it explains why a lot of the things my parents said came true. They said I’d get sick of partying or that parties won’t matter, and now they don’t. They said I’d change, and I did. It makes me wonder what getting even older will change in me and how I see the world.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.