Raccoon Tail Butt Plug, Anyone? Introducing The Guardians Of The Galaxy Sex Toys

Photo: WeHeartIt
Guardians of the galaxy sex toys
Sex

PERFECTION.

I am a geek who has a lot of sex.

I am as passionate about DC being superior to Marvel as I am about the female orgasm gap.

So when I get a chance to fuse those two loves into one glorious mishmash of awesome, it's almost too much for my poor heart to handle. Also my heart-vagina, a special part of the female anatomy specific only to me, Becca Stokes.

I love Guardians of the Galaxy. 

That's why learning that a line of Guardians of the Galaxy sex toys were being released in tandem with the movie's opening this weekend filled me with a glee heretofore unseen by man or beast.

Geeky Sex Toys

 

Related: 5 Really Good Reasons To SPLURGE On Your Adult Toys

 

They are called Orgasms of the Galaxy (because of course they are) and they are coming to you, your vagina, and your butthole courtesy of Geeky Sex Toys, an Australian brand that is basically your go-to for all things geeky and sexy

Josh, the brand's co-founder had this to say about the new sex toys: "These were created for the same reason all our other toys are created, we are just big nerds and love geeking out/making stuff based on our favorite movies, shows, games. Plus we have had a ton of people asking for GotG themed range, as well as heaps of requests for more male-orientated sex toys."

I'm 100% on board. I mean, they basically had me at the Rocket butt plug (which they called the "Randy" for reasons of copyright), you know? 

Geeky Sex Toys

Here's a thing that's awesome about this line of sex toys that Josh mentioned briefly above — it's got lots of options for the dudes, too, not just the usual vibrators and butt plugs. 

If you're a dude who has had impure thoughts about Zoe Saldana playing Gamora, now you can have those thoughts while masturbating into a Gamora, uh, colored, sex stick! I made that sound super unsexy, but whatever, you know what I mean! 

 

Related: Look No Hands! Brilliant New App Syncs Vibrator And Erotic Stories

 

I think the Guardians of the Galaxy sex toys are a great example of how masturbation and sex toys don't have to be serious or hush-hush. Sex is a part of life! Masturbation is a part of life! Sex toys are being bought all over the world e'en as we speak! Why not use the sex toys we buy to express ourselves and to share our passions? It makes sense to me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got some Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver vibrator Google searches to run. 

Please enjoy your time touching yourself and thinking of Chris Pratt, you dirty birds.