How To Give Your Partner A 'Forced' Orgasm

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Because we're all about finding win-win solutions.

Forced orgasms and involuntary orgasms are often confused. Although on the surface they may seem the same, they are very different!

Both of these events involve having an orgasm in a contested struggle, but while one is fun and sexy, the other is a violation.

A forced orgasm is a fun type of play often used in BDSM.

It is used in a scene to give someone an orgasm without their permission, but with their consent.

 

Related: Why Forced Orgasm Play Is SEXY AF (And 4 Ways To Give It A Try!)

 

Usually, there is contested play going on where the dominant partner restrains or ties down the submissive partner and tries to bring them to orgasm. The person that is being restrained tries to prevent the orgasm from happening as a test of wills both against the top and their own ability to control their orgasm.

The orgasm is resisted, but the consent is there for the orgasm to occur, so it’s really a win-win for everyone, as the attempted denial and challenge of control is the fun part of this.

This type of play is also referred to as "consensual non-consent."

Typically, a scene using forced orgasm involves bondage. Here's how it works ...

The submissive should be restrained at the wrists, ankles, and hips to prevent too much movement. A form of sensory deprivation, such as using blindfolds, will heighten the sensations.

I like to use a powerful Hitachi-like vibrator on my partner's clit while also using two fingers to rub the G-spot to bring a female submissive to orgasm. Cunnilingus is also a great way to achieve a forced orgasm with a woman.

Guys generally are easier to make orgasm because you can use a simple handjob or blowjob to make them cum.

Communication is the ultimate key to finding out the best way to make your partner cum.

Be sure to find this out first so you can use the information "against" them!

 

Related: What It Means If You CRAVE Pain And Rough, Hard Sex

 

Usually, a safe word is used to stop the play if something goes wrong or someone changes their mind. A safe word is something one usually wouldn’t say during sex/kink activities, like "banana" or "Einstein."

When engaging in contested play, it’s essential to do this so that everyone involved has the ability to communicate without breaking the scene.

Involuntary orgasms, on the other hand, are sexual arousal and orgasms that happen during forced sexual contact.

This can happen regardless of the gender of the person being assaulted.

If someone has an orgasm during a rape, it is not their fault. The body can’t help but respond to external sexual stimulus, and in no way does this mean that consent to a sexual assault was given.

Many of the incidences of this sort of assault go unreported due to "slut shaming" and "rape culture," so the distinction is one we must recognize and take seriously.


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This article was originally published at Kinkly. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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