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Here's what she really means by what she told you at the bar.
By Ossiana Tepfenhart — Last updated on Apr 28, 2023
Girls have a rep for not saying exactly what’s on our minds, and it’s kind of true.
To a point, women kind of have to learn how to do that in order to keep safe in certain situations or to just fit in.
Even though we try to be subtle about what we say, we often think that it’s obvious what we’re really trying to say.
Guys, though, don’t really tend to get the drift.
Here are 13 phrases men need to know to decode women:
1. “Let’s just be friends.”
When girls say this, they legit would be okay with friendship, assuming that the guy isn’t being weird about it. Unfortunately, this doesn’t happen very often, because guys usually get sulky after it. So, most of the time, this actually means, “Please stop hitting on me, you’re making me uncomfortable and if you’re going to act like this I want to be left alone.”
2. “I like you, but...”
Though there is that once-in-a-lifetime case where there’s a legit reason they can’t date you, most girls who say this to a guy aren’t interested and are trying to let them down gently.
3. “I need to go now.”
If you ever hear a girl say this, it almost certainly means that you’ve made her uncomfortable to the point that she can no longer stand your presence.
4. “He’s nice...”
When women say this, they’re saying that they’re on the fence about dating a guy. Or, they may legit mean that the dude is a nice person to be around as a friend.
5. “What do you think? Is he cute?”
Girls who are talking about guys in this manner often are gauging whether or not they should make a move on the guy in question. They also might be asking friends to give them the thumbs up.
6. “I’m not ready to date right now.”
This seems to translate pretty evenly across all genders. When someone says this, they’re saying, “I really don’t want to date you right now. Sorry.”
7. “Your girlfriend is a lucky, lucky girl.”
Depending on how it’s said, it could be that she likes the guy who she’s talking to, or it could be said to remind a guy that he’s taken and that she’s not down for being a side chick. If you’re just meeting a girl for the first time and she says this, she’s definitely scoping you out.
8. “I’m really not feeling the club tonight. I think I’ll stay in.”
Women who say this already have their pajamas picked out, Netflix queue lined up, and popcorn in the microwave. Do not try to beg them to go out and be groped by losers in a dark room.
9. “I don’t want to take things too fast.”
If a girl has to say this, it means one of two things. Either the guy in question is getting too clingy or too physical, too quickly for her comfort. It also could mean that she’s worried you’re psycho and wants to make sure that she’s not proceeding with a nutjob.
10. “I’m fine.”
There are some girls who are legitimately okay and happy, and you can tell this by their relaxed demeanor and happy appearance. If you notice she’s not smiling and cheerful, she’s NOT fine. She doesn’t want to talk to you about what’s bothering her, or she had already told you what’s upsetting her and you didn’t listen the first time around.
11. “It doesn’t matter.”
If she’s saying this with a smile or appears relaxed, she probably legitimately means it doesn’t matter. If she’s saying this while upset, then yes, whatever it is matters and you royally messed up.
12. “Let’s keep things casual.”
Surprise! Some girls legitimately want to keep things casual with guys, and this is often the case when a girl feels like he’s attractive, but that he’s not a good match for her on an emotional level. So, when translated, it basically means, “Look, you’re hot enough to get laid, but you’re not what I’d want in a boyfriend. FWBs?”
13. “I have a boyfriend.”
This can mean one of two things. Either she legitimately has a boyfriend or she’s trying to let you down gently with an excuse. In either situation, though, the request is the same: she’s asking you to leave her alone.
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Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, New Theory Magazine, and others.