Want to make him obsess over you? Do this.
The other day, I was hanging with my guy friends Dante and Leroy. Much like any other day with the bros, food was something that was on our minds. This day, however, was a bit different.
This time around, I began to cook a meal for the three of us. It was one of my favorite meals to make: a crab boil with Zatarain’s, with a side of blackened salmon.
At the time, we were all talking about our exes that have tried to come back to us. Dante had recently gotten a message on Facebook from an ex-girlfriend who was begging him to come back to her, and my ex had been trying to get into contact with me after a party that was held about a month ago. Much like with Dante, my ex had started to get a bit obsessive about being with me again.
I was in the kitchen, adding some cider vinegar to the boil, and the guys were in the dining room when I heard Leroy pipe up, “Hell, I can understand why Ossiana’s ex wants her back. The smell from the kitchen says it all, man.”
I stuck my head out of the kitchen and gave him a questioning look.
“What?” asked Leroy. “You didn’t know guys find good cooking sexy?”
I rolled my eyes. Yes, I had heard the old adage about the way to a man’s heart being through his stomach. Even so, I looked at him again, “Really? Sexy?”
It was then that Dante gave me a look, “Wait, what? You didn’t know that?”
“Know what?” I said.
It was then that Dante revealed something that never quite clicked in my head. Guys didn’t see cooking as just an added bonus for housewives to have. Both Dante and Leroy explained that women who can cook is a complete turn-on and that many men have a fetish (or mild obsession) for seeing women cooking, especially if it’s good food or a favorite dish.
Here’s what they said about why cooking for a man is so hot to most guys out there.
1. Cooking is a surprisingly selfless gesture if you think about it.
Making a good meal takes effort, you know? Guys see that, and they actually get turned on by the fact that a girl will work that hard to make something nice for them.
2. Guys love good food.
Men are sensory creatures and trust me when I say they love to have their taste buds tickled. Good food is a smart way to make a guy happy.
3. A lot of guys also see it as feminine.
Dante told me this gem as I was plating his dinner. Since most females traditionally were the ones who cooked food at home, they see it as a feminine act, and guys usually get turned on by femininity. As Dante put it, “It’s kinda like how women get turned on when I’m working on cars around them.”
4. It’s also increasingly rare to see women who can cook, so it makes you stand out in his eyes.
Leroy bemoaned the cooking skills of his last girlfriend, who apparently would have been able to burn cereal if not supervised. Dante said that for him, bad cooking skills have actually lead to breakups in the past. Both agreed that it’s rare enough to be remarkable in a lot of circles.
5. Another thing that surprised me is that they differentiated between cooking and baking.
Dante explained, “Cakes in an oven are nice and all, but when guys actually see you doing stuff on a stovetop, that’s a whole new level of cooking.” (I still don’t understand why this is the case, but it’s pretty noteworthy.)
6. Even smells that are similar to what you’ve cooked for a guy will often make him think of you, especially if it’s a signature dish.
Leroy actually suggested that this may have been why my ex was acting up. Perhaps he smelled some Cajun cooking and thought of me?
Overall, it was a strange conversation that taught me quite an interesting lesson about what guys want in a girl. The moral of the story is simple: if you want to make a guy go nuts, grab a cookbook.