Put. Down. The. Ring.
The other day, I was talking to my friend Callie. Callie is a married housewife to a guy named Marko, who happened to be her high school sweetheart. Their marriage was one that probably had to be one of the worst I’ve heard of without physical abuse being involved.
The reason why was because Marko would literally spend money the two needed for rent on escorts. Even when Callie would catch him, scream at him, and cry over him, he wouldn’t stop.
At this point, it was an emotionally abusive relationship toward Callie and I didn’t understand why she was with him. She's an attractive, smart woman and realistically, she could have a nicer lifestyle without Marko in the picture if she wanted to.
Eventually, I had to ask her the million-dollar question: “Dude, why’d you marry him?”
She looked at me, and said, “I thought marrying him would make him stop cheating.”
And boom, there you have it: one of the most common and most dangerous mistakes a person can make. This confession is something that I’ve heard over and over again throughout the years, from both men and women.
Too many people believe marriage is this cure-all for bad relationships and will go through with it because they think everything will magically turn out well. Men have told me that they’ve thought their dead bedrooms would be healed if they just walked down the aisle with the girl they liked. Women have told me that marriage was supposed to stop their guys from cheating or abusing them.
No matter what the problem in the relationship is, there’s always one person out there who insists that getting married will make the problem go away or just distract the couple from it long enough that it won’t matter anymore. I’ve heard it millions of times, myself.
As much as Disney and other Hollywood movies may tell you otherwise, the fact i marriage doesn't fix problems other than the problem of not being officially official. The only thing marriage guarantees is that it'll be harder to walk away from them if things really go south. That’s all it will do, literally.
Getting married doesn’t guarantee they’ll work harder on the relationship. It won’t guarantee that he’ll stop cheating, and statistics even show that abuse will almost certainly increase once you’re married.
Lastly, it won’t guarantee that he’ll even stay with you. After all, divorce is a very common thing these days, as is Spousal Abandonment Syndrome.
If you’re thinking of using a marriage or a baby to make things better, please, for the love of all that is holy, stop right now. Stop arranging your wedding dress and put down the damned ring.
This stuff won’t fix your relationship, but actually talking it out or walking away might.