How To Spot A Player Before You Get Played
Get real.
getty It is sometimes hard to spot a player, especially if you are falling deeply in love. But at the start of a relationship, we're all looking for ways to tell if a guy actually likes us, or if he's just playing you.
When my girlfriends confide in me about some of the seriously messed up romantic situations they find themselves in, it's easy for me to judge them and offer dating advice they may not want.
Looking at it from a stance of pure common sense, it makes no sense why any girl would waste her time on a guy who's playing games or only sees her when he needs a ride to the airport.
But that's the thing: love doesn't make sense. Emotions don't make sense.
That connection you feel when you're talking to someone over candlelight doesn't make sense. Because if it did, smart girls would be acting a whole lot smarter and would recognize the signs of a player.
Guys who are known as players understand this phenomenon very well. They know that we all have this deep, buried desire to be swept off our feet whether we want to admit it or not. And they use that knowledge to take advantage of you.
The only reason girls "waste their time" on guys who are obviously playing them is because to them it doesn't feel like a waste of time at all. To them, it feels like love.
So, how can you tell if someone's a player? Here's how to spot a player before they break your heart:
The best way to spot a player — and to see if you're getting played — is to pay attention to his actions, not his words.
1. Players will say the right thing sometimes, but they are love bombing
A player will do a grand romantic gesture every now and make a girl feel special. They're not acting like jerks 24/7 and getting away with it.
Often they will love bomb girls to get them to be obsessed so they have more freedom to do what they want on the side.
2. Players will do the absolute bare minimum required to keep you around
It might be a compliment every now and then or staying up late talking to you on the phone or taking you out for ice cream once every few weeks.
3. He might act like a boyfriend when he's around, but that doesn't mean he is one
Because when you two aren't together, he's not paying attention to you. He's ignoring your calls, hanging out with his friends and acting like you don't exist.
If a guy really loves you, his behavior won't change whether you're sitting next to each other or are 500 miles apart. He'll make a real effort to see you as much as he can. He'll act like your boyfriend because he likes being your boyfriend.
So even though you feel like a relationship with this player is just around the corner, it's not.
That's just the mindset he keeps you in so he can keep you around. It's messed up — and you deserve so much better.
Emily Blackwood is a freelance writer, editor and journalist who covers relationships, entertainment & news, pop culture, and wellness.