The Weird Reason Guys Care Whether You Spit Or Swallow

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better to spit or swallow
Sex

Why is it such a big deal?

It’s the age-old question, right? When you’re giving a blowjob, do you spit or do you swallow?

It's a common concern among women, but I think there's an even more interesting (and important) question we're ignoring: 

Why do men CARE if you spit or swallow?

Why does it matter? Aren’t they already getting a blowjob out of the deal? Do they really have anything to complain about either way?

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And, yet, so many men do care about whether or not you spit or swallow after oral sex. Swallowing is regarded as the preferable option — as the sexy option. If you don’t swallow, you’re seen as narrow-minded or prudish.

Which is ridiculous. Why does it matter to a guy about what happens to their sperm after it leaves their body? The act of spitting or swallowing does nothing to the actual pleasure they receive from the blowjob itself.

Here’s why men throw such a fuss about spitting or swallowing — it’s about their male egos.

It really is.

They don’t want to feel rejected.

That seems crazy when you consider that you just took their penis into your mouth and brought them to orgasm. Isn’t that enough acceptance for one day?

However, men have learned to idealize “The Swallow.”

It’s a physically neutral act for them, giving them no empirically measurable amount of additional pleasure, and yet they’ve mentally convinced themselves that swallowing means that the person performing the blowjob is enjoying what they’re doing. And that makes them feel good about themselves.

Maybe it’s because spitting typically has a negative connotation. We spit when we’re angry, frustrated, disgusted. We spit when we’re sick and we spit when we have a bad taste in our mouths. Perhaps that’s why the simple act of spitting out semen makes men feel so judged.

“What? Didn’t you enjoy that? Don’t I taste like French Vanilla Ice Cream? Aren’t I special?”

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Spitting doesn’t even mean that the performer didn’t enjoy the act. It just means “Hey, I’d prefer not to swallow this and I have an incredibly easy alternative for doing so.”

But that doesn’t matter. The fact that you spit somehow makes men feel like they’re something to be discarded, that the person performing the blowjob just did something they found to be distasteful.

And let’s be honest — it is kind of distasteful. They don’t make penis-flavored bubble gum for a reason. It’s not the taste sensation that’s sweeping the nation. It’s dick.

But vaginas don’t taste that amazing either. It’s a body part, not a lollipop. I love oral sex and I know so many people who share that opinion, but none of us are fooling ourselves that “flavor” is our main reason for wanting to go down on someone.

We go down on someone because we care about them, because they’re sexy AF, because we want to give them pleasure (and hopefully reap some pleasure in return).

This is why the spit/swallow dilemma only makes sense when you view it through the lens of male ego.

Men shouldn’t care if you spit after giving a blowjob — and yet they do. They care a lot.

 

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Because they’re don’t want to feel rejected. Because they’re feeling insecure. Because, following an orgasm, they’re surprisingly vulnerable and on high alert for any suggestion that giving them a blowjob wasn’t anything other than the best thing ever.

It doesn’t make sense, and it isn’t really fair, but there it is.

Men want you to swallow because blowing them isn’t enough. They also want you to play into a male-created myth of post-blowjob rapture, and swallowing is the key component to that fantasy.

Does this mean you should swallow? Unless you want to — HELL NO.

If you’re cool with swallowing, go to town, but, if you’re not, have an honest talk with your man. Let them know that it’s not a rejection. That you’re happy to give them a blowjob, but you have a personal preference about what comes after.

If they can’t respect your open and honest opinion on the case of spit v. swallow, toss them to the curb. They didn’t deserve to get blown anyway.

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