Here's how. (And why!)
Men fake orgasms.
It seems like such a funny thing to admit, because men usually aren’t really known for having an issue with reaching orgasm. In fact, men are criticized for being able to finish up with sex far sooner than anyone ever expected (or wanted).
But, all that said, even if they don't fake it nearly as much as women, men do find themselves in situations where they need to fake an orgasm.
Maybe they’re just not feeling it with a certain partner. Or maybe that partner is just TERRIBLE in bed and the man doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Maybe they had too much to drink and have a case of the Whiskey Dick. Whatever the circumstance, sometimes the easiest way to deal with profoundly disappointing sex is to get to the end of it as quickly as possible — even if you need to fake it.
Just like women, men have their own special tricks and tells when it comes to faking male orgasms. There are special ways they move, jerk, and vocalize that help them sell their “authentic” release to their unsuspecting partners.
But if you know what you’re looking for, even if he's the best actor in the world, you can probably tell.
If you want to know if your man’s sexual pleasure is the real deal, here are five of the most common techniques that men use to fake orgasms with their partners.
1. They change the pace
When a man just wants the sex to be over, he has to create the illusion that he’s somehow found a way to build to his orgasm. From a practical standpoint, that means making it seem that his physical movements have reached some sort of climax. This normally involves a slow, gradual increase in his pelvic thrusts to send the message that “Oh yes, I’m almost there.”
If he cares about you, he’ll go for the slow burn, really trying to sell the idea that he’s worked his way up the orgasm ladder. If he’s frustrated and bored, he might just give you a few quick, irregular thrusts and unconvincingly declare “Oh my god, that took me my surprise…” (Don’t fall for it.)
2. They alter their breathing
Thanks to movies like When Harry Met Sally, some men try the fake moan when they’re pretending to build to an orgasm, which is just a bad idea. It’s clichéd, it’s silly, and it’s far too easy to figure out whether a moan is sincere or not.
A better bet is for men to subtly shift their breathing tempo. Like with the fake pelvic thrusts, a good, even progression of breaths — from slow to quick — can convince a partner that your pulse is racing, even when you just want to get over the finish line.
3. They tremble
This is a pro move. Women know that orgasms explode through your nervous system like electric shocks, so if a man doesn’t seem sufficiently “electrified” by their release, it can be a clear sign that something isn’t right.
That’s why men with the unfortunate experience of faking orgasms know that a good tremble can really help bring the illusion to life. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy — a shudder, a shake, a quick, sharp jerk — but a sudden, swift tremble really does make the orgasm appear much more authentic.
4. They suddenly pull out
One of the risks of men faking orgasms is that, normally, there is some physical evidence of the orgasm left behind. But that doesn’t mean a quick-thinking faker can’t get around that. One common strategy is to unexpectedly pull out — blaming it on the intensity of the orgasm — so that the man can eliminate any trace of the ejaculation in the confusion.
This is especially important for a fake orgasm during oral sex (which, yes, can totally happen). You pull out quickly, possibly ditch the condom, and then play dumb (“where did it go?”) if anyone asks where the evidence went.
5. They hide their erections
This can be a hard one to pull off. If the sex simply isn’t getting the man anywhere near an orgasm, there’s a decent chance that they’ll be left with an erection that they can’t easily get rid of. If they’re lucky, they’ll quickly go flaccid, either after the fake orgasm (best case) or before, which they might have to blame on erectile dysfunction (worse case).
But if they finish their fake release and they’re still hard as a rock, that’s a more complex situation. One solution is for the man to immediately run to the bathroom, blaming their exit on an urgent post-coital pee.
Or they might immediately flip their partner over onto their back, maybe to give a back rub or start kissing around the neck, which seems sweet, until you realize that they’re doing anything to keep their turgid, unsatisfied boners out of anyone’s eye lines. It’s a tricky illusion to pull off, but it can be done.
The overall message here is — men fake orgasms too and there are signs that can tell you whether or not your man’s release is genuine or if they’re acting for your benefit.
But don’t try to shame them for their fraudulent pleasure. Mostly likely, they’re faking orgasms to protect to your feelings. However, you should keep an eye open for these signs, if only because they might help you start an honest conversation about orgasms with your partner and all the possible ways you might hopefully be able to turn their fake climaxes into something much, much more real.