But it doesn't have to be that way. We've all heard far-fetched stories about women having intense orgasms during childbirth, but we've always believed such tales were the exception to the childbirth experience, not the rule by any means.
It turns out, we might have it all wrong.
Orgasmic childbirth can transform your experience of bringing a new life into the world into a spiritual experience like no other imaginable. You can have it too, there are just a few things you need to be mindful of and you're in store for the best orgasm of your life.
1. Educate yourself
Childbirth expert Michel Odent explains that women's bodies are actually programmed to have an orgasmic response during childbirth, as hard as that may be to believe, based on everything we are taught about the pain and agony of childbirth.
During childbirth the body produces a cocktail of chemicals designed to transport the laboring woman to a blissful plane. This includes natural morphine, prolactin, and oxytocin. These are also the chemicals that are released when you orgasm during sex.
What we're calling an orgasmic birth also has another name, the fetus ejection reflex. This refers to the involuntary movements of the mother during childbirth which, in left uninterrupted, can feel more intense than any orgasm they have ever experienced.
Even if you think having an orgasmic birth sounds impossible for you, remember that it's something your body is actually designed to do and there are steps you can take to have that experience when you give birth.
2. Get some privacy
Our favorite biochemical oxytocin is sometimes called the "shy" chemical. That's because the body produces it in in greater amounts when it feels more comfortable and less inhibited. It's no wonder that orgasmic births are considered flukes instead of a part of the birth experience given the way women give birth today.
Think about it, there are countless interruptions by doctors, nurses, and friends and family members. To get your body producing as much of this helpful chemical as possible, try and get the maximum amount of privacy you can. Do what you need to do to keep your delivery room dimly lit and relaxing.
3. Consider a natural birth
When it comes to giving birth, you and your partner have the choice of picking the birth plan that works best for you. Some people opt for a natural birth, and others do not. There's no moral judgment that should be placed on a couple for the decision they make on how they want to bring their baby into the world.
If having an orgasmic birth is central to your birth plan, it is not uncommon to decide on a natural birth. That's because there is a belief that the chemicals introduced into the system during a hospital birth interferes with the naturally occurring pain killers being produced by the body. That's right, in an effort to be comfortable during birth we could be cutting ourselves off from an orgasmic birth experience.
4. Try masturbation
The chemicals produced when we masturbate (endorphins and adrenaline to name a few) can further dull pain. Plus that intense focus on your body and the added contractions that come with birth.
You don't have to masturbate to achieve an orgasmic birth, but spending that time with yourself and your body can make you feel more comfortable and lead to the head space necessary to achieve the orgasmic birth you've been trying for.