5 Reasons A 'Friend With Benefits' Will ALWAYS Break Your Heart

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friends with benefits problems

Thanks, but no thanks.

If you're single but need to get your booty fix, sometimes having a friend with benefits can be the perfect temporary solution. There's something super sexy AND super liberating about having a number you can reach out any time of day or night and know that doing that means guaranteed good sex without the stress of dating. 

But having a friend with benefits isn't necessarily all it's cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, it's possible, I guess, if you are some sort of sex and dating wizard, but if that were the case... why would you still need that friend with benefits? For my money, having a friend with benefits always, always, always, leads to heartache and here's why. 

1. Having a friend with benefits keeps you from real relationships 

If you're a busy person, with a full time job and loads of responsibilities, having a friend with benefits is so convenient that it makes it hard to really date if really going out and finding dates is what you want to do. It's like getting home after work and knowing you have in the fridge everything you need to make a healthy dinner, but ALSO know there's a quick and easy microwave pizza in the freezer. You'll go for the pizza every time, and eventually you'll pay the price. 



2. A 'friend with benefits' isn't really your friend 

When you're sleeping with someone regularly, even if they are "just" your friend with benefits, you'll come to feel a level of comfort with them. This comfort can be totally deceptive. It's natural to want to turn to your friend with benefits to debrief about your day, or your plans for the weekend. But that's not how a friends with benefits relationship works. You're guaranteed pangs of the heart if you think otherwise. 


3. It's bio-chemically confusing 

Okay, I don't know how much I agree with this one personally, but it is worth sharing. When you have sex with someone, your body releases the chemical oxytocin. One of the many things this chemical does is make you feel bonded to your partner. Intellectually, you might feel no connection to your partner, but the biochemical foundation has been laid for you to be hurt if it ends. 



4. There's a reason you two aren't REALLY dating 

As much fun as you two have sleeping together and as well as you get along, there's a reason he's your friend with benefits and not your boyfriend. If he was boyfriend material you would have gone down that road already, but you decided not to. This means you two have fundamental differences that could lead to fighting and heartbreak. 


5. Being friends with benefits always comes with an expiration date 

One of the great things about having a friend with benefits is also one of the things that can be the hardest: it's a relationship that is guaranteed to end. Life changes, people move on, and when you start a relationship knowing it has no real future and embrace that it can be fun. But if your friend with benefits becomes a staple in your life, losing them is going to be just as hard as any other loss in its own way. 



Expert advice

Save your breath because you only need two words to make him commit.
Are you REALLY thinking about their happiness?
If you keep finding yourself in heartbreaking, dead end relationships, listen up.
It seems like you can't do anything right.