I'm Worth A HELL Of A Lot More Than Your Maybes

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I'm Worth a Hell of a Lot More Than Your Maybes
Heartbreak, Love

Weighing options is for corporate boardrooms, not relationships.

We fell in love. Well, I fell in love. We had sex. We did things together: went out, had sex, perused the grocery store. We had whole weekends together, whole days in my apartment. You cooked, or I cooked, but somehow, an amazing meal got made.

We got drunk on boxed wine and had sex again. Then we woke up and had slow morning sex. We went to the farmer's market; you bought me handmade jewelry. We held hands. We were a couple.


And then suddenly you weren't sure. You shouldn't have spent the night. You shouldn't have gotten drunk. I'm a sweet girl, seriously, and any guy would be lucky to have me. You're just not sure if you're that guy. Maybe it's a no go.

Then it happened again. We met at a bar; you were charming and told me I was beautiful. You bought me my favorite drink without asking. You knew I had to get home to let the dog out.

You came home, too. And when we had sex again, it was better than before. We showered together. After a week, you joked about getting a drawer at my place. I thought it was a good idea.

But all of a sudden, it might be a bad idea. You have your career; you don't need a girlfriend to distract you. You're going to have to travel on business a lot in the months coming up, and then there's this big project you're working on. Maybe we're a no.

Guess what, assh*le? I'm sick of the word "maybe." Maybe we can be together. Maybe we can't be together. Maybe we can be a couple who has lazy morning sex before the farmer's market, or maybe we can't. You can't decide. One day it's one thing, the next day another. But it's always maybe, never yes.


I'm worth more than all your maybes. I deserve a guy who will commit to me, who will take the step to say, "Yes, we're going out. We're a couple, we're together, that's it." I deserve sex with this guy, not sex with someone who might decide to be gone in the morning.

I'm worth more than your waffling. I'm worth more than your indecision, your yes-yes-no-yes. "I love you" means something. It ought to, at least. Yours isn't worth the air it takes to speak it.

Sure, you deserve time to make a decision. But you already said "I love you." That's decision enough. Once you say "I love you," maybes go out the window. They change to yeses. I deserve someone who says yes, not someone who says maybe. Not someone who has to weigh the options." Weighing options is for corporate boardrooms, not relationships. You're either all in or you're all out. And your maybe tells me you're all out.

You won't commit? I want commitment. I deserve commitment. So if you're on the fence about me, you're not worth me. I deserve someone who will commit so we can get on with our lives, not sit in the stasis of maybe.


When you waffle, you stall. That makes me stall. It stalls my whole life, making me sit around and wait for you to make up your damn mind. I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to sit on tenterhooks, waiting for you to give me a yes or a no. To what? To whether or not you think I could be lovable?

When you lay it out like that, it's pretty ugly, isn't it?

So I won't be waiting for you. I'm worth more than all your yes-then-nos, your maybe, maybe, maybe. I deserve better than that and I sure as hell deserve better than you.



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