Strong is downright beautiful.
"Who run the world?" According to Beyoncé — it's girls!
And no matter where they are on their individual path to greatness, one thing's for sure, women everywhere put up with ... a lot!
From gender bias and unequal pay to high heels and lip gloss, it's not easy being female ... whether you're climbing the corporate ladder or just trying to hold the fort down with your spouse and kids.
But despite the obstacles, strong, independent women can be found persevering and handling all the challenges that come their way.
And they do so with fabulous aplomb because they've learned a few things on their journey, about what to lean into, what to embrace ... AND what NOT to put up with for one single second.
In fact, here are nine things strong, independent women absolutely refuse to tolerate in their lives:
1. Being caged in
You can't keep a good woman down, so don't even try. She needs room to learn, grow, and rise (in her career, in her relationships, and in life) and she has little patience for people trying to hold her back or who don't seem committed to helping her achieve her goals. Strengths Strategy Coach Bob Roesler confirms, “In my experience, fabulous women never tolerate feeling restricted. They have no time for those unwilling to make the commitment necessary to achieve success. Strong, independent women need to be able to spread their wings and fly, not be restricted by limited choices."
2. Her boundaries being crossed
It's a skill all women need — the ability to set and hold healthy boundaries. Strong, independent women are masters at this. But this isn't about building walls or being defensive. Strong, independent women know that truly healthy boundaries are about honoring vulnerability, respecting personal needs, and taking time for physical and emotional self-care. She inspires others to respect her needs and boundaries by honoring them first herself.
“It's strong to know your bottom line and be prepared to stand by it," says Clinical and Health Psychologist Amanda Gordon, "but it also takes strength to be touched emotionally, to grieve a loss, to comfort a friend. Grieving can take time. Once it’s done, though, a strong, independent woman rolls up her sleeves and moves on."
Amanda Gordon is a Clinical and Health Psychologist, a Relationships Expert who is the Director of Armchair Psychology Practice in Australia. You can follow her on her website armchairpsychology.com.au.
3. Negative people
Everyone has a bad day occasionally and taking time to process frustrated emotions is important. But, confident, successful women value people with a positive mindset, who take responsibility for their own thoughts, and who choose to look at the bright side in life. “They steer clear of negative people who blame, complain, and refuse to improve themselves," says Life Coach Kelly Rudolph. "Strong, independent women know personal growth is a powerful way to achieve self-confidence, self-respect, self-love, and a healthy self-image. And that is how they achieve their dreams!"
So, if you like to gossip, complain, or play the victim, these women are likely to say "bye" to you pretty quickly.
4. Being disrespected
Disagree with her, that's fine. Offer her valid feedback, she'll listen with open ears. But, disrespect her? No way.
Women of character don't lower themselves to petty bickering or ugly attacks, and they also don't tolerate that behavior from others.
“Strong, independent women have a deep sense of worth that is not up for argument or judgment," says Leadership Coach Neil Forte, PhD. "They don't put up with being argued against (instead of being respectfully heard); sarcastic, sexist put-downs (don't even try to play it off with "Can't you take a joke?"); criticism of their personality instead of their performance; or crazy-making statements that deny their experience ('gaslighting' won't fly here)."
Neil Fiore, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, coach, author and trainer specializing in productivity and success. Click here to read more articles on Optimal Productivity, Building Confidence and to learn about Effective Goal Setting and how to make yourself feel safe with you. Visit his website, www.neilfiore.com
5. Letting fear of failure control their lives
We all feel fear from time to time, especially in the face of big leaps and unfamiliar risks. What you won't find is strong, independent women letting that fear keep them from reaching their goals — whether it's finishing that triathlon, delivering that keynote talk, or working up their nerve to go out on a date.
“Strong women don't indulge their fear of failure," says Leadership Coach Dr. Pam Denton, "and don't see it as a reason to quit pursuing ambitions or give up on goals. Although failure to many women can feel embarrassing (like a reason to criticize performance or a fall from grace), on the other side, strong and independent women perceive failure as an opportunity to reach goals, process emotions, gather valuable lessons and build relationships. They won't allow failure to halt progress."
6. Being undermined
“A strong, independent woman does not tolerate being undermined, dishonored or questioned for who she is," says Self Love Mystic & Mentor Pernilla Lillarose. "She knows her values and priorities and has lost all interest in and need to argue, defend or justify herself in the face of other's opinions. With a loving smile she'll say: ‘Oh, sorry Honey, I don't engage in those kind of conversations anymore.'"
As such, she will happily listen to alternative ideas, give credit where it is due, and make way for others to have their moment in the sun. But don't mistake her grace for weakness. She knows where her power lies and expects the same respectful treatment she gives others.
Pernilla Lillarose is a Self Love Mystic & Mentor at Divine Feminine Flow. Contact her for a free 30 minutes discovery session to learn how true Self Love can turn your whole life around. You can follow her blog on YourTango.
7. Fooling herself
Every strong women knows she still has areas of weakness ... places where she is short-sighted, impatient, or is still growing into herself. Because of this, she checks in with her integrity often to make sure she's really speaking her truth, noticing unhealthy patterns, and holding people in her life (including herself) to account.
“When you are simply tolerating things, you build resentment that you may not even be aware of," says The Relationship Help Doctor Rhoberta Shaler, PhD. "Resentments are energy leaks. Look at your relationships in particular with clear, rational eyes. Many high-powered women are being undermined by their relationships, all the while justifying and rationalizing toxic behaviors."
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, The Relationship Help Doctor, works with the partners, exes, adult children, and co-workers of chronically difficult people worldwide. She calls them "Hijackals™." Get her free ebook, How To Spot A Hijackal, or schedule a free consultation at her website, ForRelationshipHelp.com
8. Being put last
Successful, highly capable women often find themselves counted on by everyone around them. While they happily rise to the challenge, they do not put themselves at the bottom of their own priority list (nor do they accept being put last by others).
"Strong, smart, sexy women never tolerate a job, a spouse, or her kids coming before her self-care," says Homeoopathic Practitioner Michele Brookhaus. "Or at least there is strong consideration before doing so. She knows that to be of any use to anyone, playing second fiddle is rarely the seat she takes. It may sound selfish, but trust me — it's not."
Michele Brookhaus, RSHom(NA), CCH, is a homeopathic practitioner, mentor and creator of Yoni's Bliss, the safe, effective, medicinal lubricant designed with women in mind. Find it at www.yonisbliss.com. Contact her at Michele@yonisbliss.com.
9. Anything less than her very best
In a world where people so easily settle for less, you will always see strong, independent women shining brightly. That's because they truly loves who they are, value what they have to offer the world, and therefore, does not accept putting forth anything less than their best.
"She won’t settle for anything less than her best possible life," says Kimberly Mishkin & Liza Caldwell, co-founders of SAS for Women. "She knows that happiness does not happen by luck, nor by accident, and that it’s up to her to create her own life. She believes that everyone deserves respect and love and that it starts with loving herself first."
She is also smart enough to know that her personal best does NOT equal perfection. Her best may fluctuate from day to day, based on what's happening in her life at the time. But whatever she has within her, she pours the best of it into all that she does.
She knows she only gets one shot at this thing called life. And she's determined to live her one life beautifully.
Kimberly Mishkin & Liza Caldwell are cofounders of SAS for Women®. SAS is an action based resource for women, offering strategic coaching, a specialized education, and emotional support as women navigate and adapt to major life changes. Find out more about SAS on their comprehensive website or follow their blog on YourTango.