To The Men Who Always Ask Why We're Still Single —​ Can You NOT?

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Love, Self

It's like, kind of offensive.

I'm slightly new to the dating scene. The last time I was completely, totally single, was pre-Tinder and dating apps, and the only way you met strangers was at bar. I was also not 21. 

So being as this is my first real experience dating as a single woman, I'm learning a lot. Things like, don't let a guy pick you up from your apartment right away, don't wear wedges on a blind date because he might be super short, don't stop talking to other guys just because you met a cute normal one, and don't ever assume a guy is committed until he shows you he is. 

There are a lot of don'ts in the dating world. 

But there's one thing that keeps happening to me that is seriously getting old.

Every guy I meet always, always asks me why I'm still single.

And lately, this question has been popping up within the first five minutes of conversation. 

I'm sure the intention isn't to hurt my feelings or be mean in any way. But the truth of it is, it makes me feel like something is wrong with me.

Like being single isn't my choice, and there's gotta be something off if I'm not in a relationship. 


My answer to this question is always slightly anxiety producing. Do I say something funny and brush it off, or will that look like I'm hiding something? Do I tell the truth and explain why I broke up with my ex, or is that too TMI? Do I just drop my drink and run because I shouldn't have to explain my status to anyone, let alone a stranger? 

The truth is, there is no right answer.

There's nothing I can say that will convince you that despite my current independence, I'm quite a catch. 

Now I could totally be reading too much into this, and the men who ask me are most likely just trying to make conversation. And it's totally something you can ask after you've spent time getting to know someone, and they feel comfortable enough to give you a real answer. 


My advice to the men of the world is this: don't ask a girl you haven't know for very long why she's still single.

Because chances are, after you take the time to get to know her, you'll realize that she's single because she doesn't settle when it comes to what she wants. 

And ladies, if you're put on the spot with this awkward pop quiz, brush it off. Say whatever comes to your mind, and if he walks away after, then let him. You shouldn't have to explain your choice to be single, but you probably will. Be confident in your answer and unashamed in your status. 

Because you have every right to be single and it doesn't make you any less of a catch. 




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