The Reason Women Don't Use The Term 'Making Love' Is Heartbreaking

Photo: WeHeartIt
Making love
Buzz, Sex

It's more complicated than we ever imagined.

I don't remember having an actual "sex talk" with my parents growing up. Any questions I had about that part of adulthood were usually answered by my friends or the pages of Cosmo. 

Somewhat of a prude, I didn't talk a whole lot about it until I got much older and started experiencing it. Even then, the only words I ever used to describe it, was the most common "sex" or the most juvenile and vague "doin' it". 

Come to think of it, I don't remember ever hearing anyone of my peers using the words "making love".

It sounded so adult and above what we were actually doing that describing it as such would seem slightly like a lie. 

Only grown-ups made love. Teenagers just did it. 


Now as a grown-up, I still don't think I make love. Anytime I've ever used the words, it was as a joke that I immediately regretted saying. I think the connotation indicates something a lot more serious than just sex, and therefore is a lot harder to say (lol). 

So really, the reasoning behind the term's absence in my sexual vocabulary, isn't because I don't think I'm mature enough to experience it, but because the seriousness of it might be enough to scare my partner away. 

The root of it is pretty sad. 

I don't say "making love" to anyone because I don't think that's what THEY think we're doing. And if I even mention the idea that what's going might be a little more than just sex for me, could send them running to the hills. 

The big problem with modern dating, especially for people my age, is that there are so many options out there and no one wants to miss out. We all have a serious case of FOMO, and it's keeping us from developing real, lasting relationships. 


Sex is one thing, making love is another.

Sex you can blame on being drunk and change your mind the next day. Making love sends a message of commitment and loyalty that if you backed out of really fast you'd risk looking like a total d-bag. 

Now I'm not suggesting you tell the guy you just started dating you want to "make love", but if you're feeling it with the person you're doin' the dirty with, don't hold back.

Let go of the idea that making love is too serious, and say how you feel. 




Explore YourTango