7 Common Sex Dreams — And What They're REALLY Trying To Tell You

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Sex dreams may not be able sex at all.

You don't have to feel embarrassed.

We've experienced that awkward moment where you come into contact with someone you've had an inappropriate sex dream about. They're not in your head, so they don't understand why you can't look them in the eye or why you're blushing. 

You've never found them attractive in the least. And besides, they're your friend's spouse or your coworker, but you wonder if the dream was letting you know about some latent desire you have. Just the thought of having sex with that person makes you feel uncomfortable and kind of dirty. How will you ever be able to treat them in a professional manner when you've seen them naked?

It's OK, because Scottish psychologist and dream interpreter Ian Wallace believes that most times, a sex dream is a metaphor for something else.

"If you actually just work with the imaginary and think of what sex symbolizes, you can see it's actually about creativity," said Wallace in a Medical Daily article. "Sex is something very instinctive and animalistic. It's about your ability to make something."

Wallace uses the words his clients use to describe their dreams, and then actually studies the word roots and their meanings to get a better idea of what the sex dream is about. It isn't the physical act of having sex in the dream that's so important — it's the meaning behind the word sex.

If the main biological purpose of sex is to create offspring, then having a sex dream could really be about wanting to create something. When we're being creative, we talk about how we conceive an idea and how our project was a labor of love. If we have a sex dream about being intimate with a boss or a coworker, it may symbolize a desire (possibly hidden) to create something like a project or professional goal with that person. 

Wallace contends that sex dreams are also a way of trying to better understand ourselves. Since sex is an extremely intimate act and we aren't only naked in front of someone but naked to ourselves, it gives us no choice but to see ourselves for who we truly are.

"A lot of the time when we try and find out who we are, we look to other people, and their judgment and analysis," said Wallace. "Everything in the dream is a reflection of us. They [sex partners] represent aspects of yourself that you have an opportunity to achieve in your waking life."

Different people in a sex dream may mean different things.

1. If you dream about an ex, you might finally be over the relationship and ready to move on.

2. If you dream about a neighbor or colleague, it could be that you admire certain personality traits in that individual and want to develop them yourself.

3. If you dream about a stranger, it may mean that a new you (a rebirth) is emerging due to changes that you're going through. A stranger may also symbolize that you're open to change or that a new opportunity is coming.

4. f you have been the victim of extreme trauma and have become separated from a part of yourself due to something that happened in your past, the sex dream may indicate that you're ready to become whole once again.

5. If you have a sex dream where rape is involved, it may represent a power struggle and that a situation in your awake life requires that you take action.

6. If you dream about gay sex and you're straight, it may mean self-acceptance, self-love, and a coming together of all the aspects of your personality.

7. If you dream about sex with an ex and you're a bride to be, it may just be a way to relieve all that pre-wedding stress, a way to say goodbye to your ex without any guilt.

Next time you have a sex dream, don't worry that your subconscious is telling you that you want to get down and dirty with an orange alien or your ex. It's probably just giving you a message about yourself or your creativity.


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